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Friday, December 4, 2009

Aisi Umr bhar meri haalaat ho jaaye....

Bas yuhi nikal pade hai

Shaayad teri Mulaqaat ho jaaye

Ke hum-tum ho chhat par

Aur phir woh barsaat ho jaaye

Din Aachal mein tere guzre

Zulf teri Chaandni Raat ho jaaye

Saasein Khushboo se lu teri aur

Sulge Sulge se Jazbaat ho jaaye

Har Ghazal mein tere naam ki Dua ho

Kuch is tarah dil ke Khayalaat ho jaaye

Zikr Khuda se karu Khuda ka

Aur har dum teri baat ho jaaye

Yeh maana ki tu Mukaddar mein Nahi

Phir bhi har Rehguzar Tere Saath Ho Jaaye

Mere Aks mein tu Nazar aati rahe sadaa

Aisi Umr bhar meri haalaat ho jaaye....

- Loveable Poet                          Give Comment

Jis roz mulaqat ho jae....

Jis roz mulaqat ho jae....

us roz qayamat ho jae....

hontoan pe hasi ho lekin

aankhoan se shikayat ho jae....

maangu na kabhi aur mil jae

koi aesi karamt ho jae...

mere qalm aur mere lahoo se

URDU ki hifazat ho jae.....

din me rind raat ko wali

aesi apni sharafat ho jae...

unse muhabbat tab thi SaLam

chalo ab adawat ho jae...

Hontoan pe hasi ho lekin.......

Ankhoan se shikayat ho jae.....

- Loveable Poet                          Give Comment

કઇંક થાય ને મળવા આવે દોસ્ત હજાર

 

કઇંક થાય ને મળવા આવે દોસ્ત હજાર,

ક્યાં એવી રીક્ષા અને ક્યાં એવા રસ્તા,

ત્યાની રેસ્ટોરન્ટ મોઘીં ને ત્યાના પાન સસ્તા,

Mehsana મા જાત જાત ના લોકો વસતા,

ફ્રેન્ડસ જોડે ટાઇમ નીકળે હસતા હસતા.

ક્યાં એવો વરસાદ,

ક્યાં એવી ગરમી,

કોને યાદ નથી મમ્મી ના ખોળા ની નરમી.

ક્યાં મળે છોકરીઓ આટલી હસતી શરમાતી,

ક્યાં મળે કોઇ સુરવાલ સાડીમા દિલ ધડકાવતી,

ક્યાં મળે કોઇને દુકાન આટલી સસ્તી,

ક્યાં મળે દુકાનદારોની આવી ઘરાક ભક્તી,

ક્યાં મળે કોઇને જીવન મા આટલી મસ્તી,

સૌથી બેસ્ટ આપડી Mehsana ની વસ્તી..

ક્યાં એવી ઉત્તરાયણ, ક્યા એવી હોળી,

તહેવારો મા ભેગી થાય આખી ફ્રેન્ડસની ટોળી,

ક્યાં એવી નવરત્રિ,

ક્યાં એવી દિવાળી,

ક્યાં એવા ડાન્ડીયા,

ક્યાં એવા ધમાકા.

ક્યા મળે Fuvara Bazar ની રંગીલી સાંજ,

ક્યા મળે Modhera Road ની ચટાકેદાર રાત,

ક્યા મળે એ gathiya jalebi ni મજા,

ક્યા મળે એ મોડી રાતોની રજા,

ક્યા મળે Rangoli જેવી પાવ-ભાજી,

ક્યા મળે Zalak જેવુ પાન,

ક્યા મળે PRATIMA જેવી ચા ને કોફી,

ક્યા મળે Sahyog જેવી નાન.

Mehsana નો રંગ નીરાળો,

Mehsana નો ઢંગ નીરાળો

- Loveable Poet                          Give Comment

Aisi Apni wife ho,

 

Aisi apni wife ho,

5.5 Jiski hight ho,

Jeans jiski tight ho,

Chehra jiska bright ho,

Weight mein thori light ho,

Umer mein difference slight ho,

Thori se woh quite ho,

Toh mamorable her ek night ho,

Aisi apni wife ho,

Sarak per sab kaheen kya cute hai,

Bheer mein sab kahee hindustan ki paidaish ho,

Beauty multiply by twice ho,

Favorite color white ho,

Make up thora light ho,

Zulfain dynamite ho,

Aankhein uski jaise sunny twilight ho,

Honton ko dekh kar lagey jaise coke diet ho,

Jub sari pehan ker nikley toh kya sight ho,

Aisa lagey jaisey swtizerland ki flight ho,

Aisi apni wife ho agar aisi toh kya haseen life ho..

- Loveable Poet                          Give Comment

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

How Love Comes and Touches the Heart

Dear Friend
Love is a simple word
Love has for letters only
But....
Love can come without any invitation
Love can touch the heart without permission
Love can come in unusual way
Love can come in unusual time
Love can come in unusual place
Love can make the days are difference
Love can make the life is in coloring
When love come nobody can away
When love touch nobody can stand
When love is in the heart
Everything wants to share
When love is in the heart
Everything is only for him or her

“Care should always be in Heart
And not in your words…..
Anger should always be in words
And not in Heart”…

- Loveable Poet                      Give Comment

Friendship

'A friend is someone who brightens your day with a smile,
A warm hello, or gentle words from the heart.
A friend is a precious gift to be cherished and nurtured.
A friend is a treasure beyond worth.
I am so grateful to call you my friend!"

Friendship

Each of us has a hidden place
Somewhere deep within ourselves;
A place where we go to get away,
To think things through,
To be alone, to be ourselves.

This unique place, where we confront our deepest feelings,
Becomes a storehouse of all our hopes,
All our needs, all our dreams,
And even our unspoken fears.
It encompasses the essence of who we are and what we want to be.

But now and then,

whether by chance or design,

Someone discovers a way into that place we thought was ours alone.

And we allow that person to see,

to feel and to share All the reason,

all the uncertainty And all the emotion we've stored up there.

That person adds new perspective to our hidden realm,
Then quietly settles down in his own corner of our special place,

Where a bit of himself will stay forever.
And we call that person a friend.

- Loveable Poet                      Give Comment

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wah Wah!!!

Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
.
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!


1)Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
.
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !!


2)Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
.
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ....
Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii .. !!


3)Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
.
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. !


4) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
.
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ....!!"


5)Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ....
.
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ...."

- Loveable Poet                    Give Comment

Friend Means...

Free from all formalities,

Right to say anything,

Either good or bad.

No sorry and No thanks

Dear to dearest one.

 

 

- Loveable Poet                    Keep Comment

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart Their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,

The second man was an Accountant,

The third man was a Chemist, and

The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

'T - square, do your stuff.'

T-square pranced over to the desk,

Took out some paper and pen and promptly

Drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

 

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned

With a dozen cookies.

He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good!

 

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

'Measure, do your stuff.'

Measure got up, walked to the fridge,

Took out a quart of milk,

Got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard

And poured exactly 8 ounces

Without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the

Government Employee and said,

'What can your cat do?'

 

The Government Employee called his cat and said,

'Coffee Break, do your stuff.'

Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......

Ate the cookies..... ..

Drank the milk.......

Ripped the paper into pieces.......

Incited a brawl with the other three cats.......

Claimed he injured his back while doing so.......

 

Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....

Put in for Workers' Compensation. ......... .....and

Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO

WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

- Loveable Poet                    Keep Comment

Sunday, September 20, 2009

GALIB...

हजारों ख्वाहिशें ऐसी कि हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले मेरे अरमाँ, लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले

डरे क्यों मेरा कातिल क्या रहेगा उसकी गर्दन पर
वो खून जो चश्म-ऐ-तर से उम्र भर यूं दम-ब-दम निकले

निकलना खुल्द से आदम का सुनते आये हैं लेकिन
बहुत बे-आबरू होकर तेरे कूचे से हम निकले

भ्रम खुल जाये जालीम तेरे कामत कि दराजी का
अगर इस तुर्रा-ए-पुरपेच-ओ-खम का पेच-ओ-खम निकले

मगर लिखवाये कोई उसको खत तो हमसे लिखवाये
हुई सुबह और घर से कान पर रखकर कलम निकले

हुई इस दौर में मनसूब मुझसे बादा-आशामी
फिर आया वो जमाना जो जहाँ से जाम-ए-जम निकले

हुई जिनसे तव्वको खस्तगी की दाद पाने की
वो हमसे भी ज्यादा खस्ता-ए-तेग-ए-सितम निकले

मुहब्बत में नहीं है फ़र्क जीने और मरने का
उसी को देख कर जीते हैं जिस काफिर पे दम निकले

जरा कर जोर सिने पर कि तीर-ऐ-पुरसितम निकले
जो वो निकले तो दिल निकले, जो दिल निकले तो दम निकले

खुदा के बासते पर्दा ना काबे से उठा जालिम
कहीं ऐसा न हो याँ भी वही काफिर सनम निकले

कहाँ मयखाने का दरवाजा 'गालिब' और कहाँ वाइज़
पर इतना जानते हैं, कल वो जाता था के हम निकले

 

- Loveable Poet                    Keep Comment

ANSOOOO...

जो रोया सो आँसुओं के दलदल में
धँस गया,
और कहते हैं
जो हँस गया वो फँस गया।
अगर फँस गया
तो मुहावरा आगे बढ़ता है
कि जो हँस गया,
उसका घर बस गया।
मुहावरा फिर आगे बढ़ता है
जिसका घर बस गया,
वो फँस गया!
और जो फँस गया,
वो आँसुओं के दलदल में
धँस गया!!

- Loveable Poet                    Keep Comment

5 Reasons Why Couples Fight and Breakup

"5 Reasons Couples Fight and Breakup and What you Can Do About It"Nearly everyone has experienced a relationship breakup or divorce and it can be one of the most painful periods in your life as you try to heal your broken heart.  What we have discovered in our relationship coaching practice, many breakups don't have to happen.

So, if breakups don't have to occur, what cases them and how can you prevent them? Here are four ideas to help you better understand why breakups happen and what you can do to prevent them in your relationship.

dating_hubby_wife_Funzug.org_01

1. Old Fears Surface.

It's to be expected that being in an intimate relationship will inevitable bring up fears and challenges from the past.  These might include fearing not being good enough, attractive enough, wealthy enough or even feelings of abandonment.  If fears are not expected, looked at and healed, they interfere in some way or another with the health of every relationship. Take some time to notice when the fears surface, be loving with Yourself but look inward instead of outward blaming your partner for what clearly is your issue.

Ask yourself if your fears are "true" or are you just making "stories" up in your head.  If you are creating those "stories" and there's no basis of truth to them, then change your thinking.  It's not always easy to do and it takes moment by moment monitoring of your Thoughts. If you need help and support to make the changes you want in your life, be courageous enough to get it.

You may not have healed your broken heart from past relationships that ended and you find it very difficult to trust your current partner or open your heart completely to him or her.  We suggest that you stop living from the hurt of those past relationships and bring yourself into the present moment, without continuing the "stories" of the past.  Commit to starting over, allowing your fears to be there but reminding yourself that this is a new day.

2.  Not Feeling Understood, Valued, Loved and Appreciated.

Everyone wants to feel understood, valued, loved and appreciated and when we're not, we tend to either withdraw or attack the other person for not meeting our needs.  If you want to be appreciated, start appreciating the other people in your life.  Sounds simplistic but it really works!

If you are not feeling loved, start being open to seeing and feeling love and appreciation that people are giving you that you may not be aware of in your daily life.  It may be that someone allows you to go ahead of them in traffic or tells you to go ahead in a grocery line.  Send some appreciation back to them and to everyone around you and watch love snowball in your life.

3.  Not Making their Relationship a Priority.

Many couples take each other for granted and don't give their relationship the attention it needs most of the time. The lack of closeness and connection can be overwhelming and can cause great loneliness.  Make your relationship a priority in your life.  Set aside time everyday to connect with your partner.

We believe that sex happens long before the bedroom.  It starts all day long when you have thoughts about your partner--Are these thoughts positive or negative?  It continues when you come together--Are you happy to see each other and express love and appreciation or do you great each other with a laundry list of chores, things to be done or grievances? These are just a couple of ways we make our relationship a priority. Try them in yours!

4.  One or Both People are Made to Feel They are "Wrong."

One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they make each other wrong. As soon as critical words are said, defenses and walls go up and suddenly that person who you love and they love you becomes an "enemy."

Before you jump into blaming and judging your partner, stop and take a moment to breathe. Ask yourself if making your partner wrong will drive you further apart or move you closer toward healing.  Open your heart to understanding the dynamics of what's going on between the two of you. Understand the full story before you start making someone wrong.  So often we assume to know what is in someone's heart and we really don't.  Take the
time to find out!

5. Not healing your heart after a previous relationship
breakup

Many people go from relationship to relationship without truly healing their hearts. They never discover what went wrong in their previous relationship and what they could have done differently.  They keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again and always expect a different outcome.

fightn_brkup_Funzug.org_01

How to Start Dating Your Husband or Wife Again?

It's never too late to start dating your husband or wife. Most married people will tell you that "dating" becomes harder to do  With each child that comes along. Even those few couples who manage to fit in a date once in a while can feel like they are not getting enough "couple" time.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)               Keep Comment

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

India Needs A Leader Like This

image 

Prime Minister John Howard - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques.

Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, Indian citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.

If you agree please SEND THIS ON and ON

to as much as Indians you know

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Original ગુજરાતીઓ

G:- ગજબ

U :- યાદ રહીજાય તેવા

J :- જક્કાસ

A :- અલ્ટિમેટ

R :- રાપ્ચિક

A :- એડવાન્સ

T :- ટકાટક

I :- ઈન્ટેલીજન્ટ

હવે ગુજરાતીમાં સાંભળ

 

ગુ :- ગુચવી નાખે તેવા

જ :- જબ્બર માઈન્ડ વાળા

રા :- રાજ કરે એવા(બધાના દિલો પર)

તી :- તીર જેવા ધારદાર.

આ બધી જ વસ્તુઓ માત્ર એકજ કાષ્ટમાં જોવા મળે છે આને કહેવાય original ગુજરાતીઓ.....

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Doctor to Sardar

Doctor to sardar patient : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.

Sardar : Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.

Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.

Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.

Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le lit hi.

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?

Sardar : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.

Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?

Sardar : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.

Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai?

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb.

Doctor : Kyon?

Sardar : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.

Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.

Sardar : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.

Doctor : Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.!

Sardar : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga…

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Why Are Indians Easy to Identify

WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY

We are like this only so true, so very true........

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere, close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed.'

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. HIGH PRIORITY You use plastic to cover anything new in your house, whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff).

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old.(And they prefer it that way).

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.

28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign  countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

33. Its embarrassing if you're wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it to as many Indians as possible.

I STILL LOVE TO BE AN INDIAN

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Complex Women

Women Are Such Complex Creatures:

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don't you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don't, you are good for nothing.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don't you are not understanding.

If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don't she accuses you of double crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don't, she says you are a dull guy.

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.

If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

IN SHORT...
So simple, yet so complex,
So weak, yet so powerful,
So confusing, yet so desirable,
So damming, yet so wonderful... WOMEN

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

11 Ways to Know That You Love Someone

IT'S TRUE!!!!

11 Ways to Know That You Love Someone

ELEVEN:

You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

TEN:

You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

NINE:

You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.

EIGHT:

You smile when you hear his/her voice.

SEVEN:

When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her.

SIX:

He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:

You realize that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:

You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:

While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:

You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number 7 is missing.

ONE:

You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.

NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST...

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Kalyug ka Maths

1.) SSC + HSC + BMS + MBA = UNEMPLYOMENT.

2.) An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.

3.) Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.

4.) 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = 4 minute song in Hindi movies.

5.) Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favourite serials.

6.) Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan = Abhishek Bachchan -Talent.

7.) 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda

8.) 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan

9.) 1 person + straight hair + unstraight walk = Sanjay dutt

10.) 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol

11.) One man + one woman = Isha Deol

12.) Time waste - time = Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi

13.) Boring songs + heavy dialogues + Bogus dressing = Devdas

14.) New heroes + New heroins = a flop movie

15.) Old heroes + new heroins = a blunder

16.) Old heroes + old heroins = timepass

17.) action - suspense + comedy - thrill - story - clothes = Indiansuperhit movie

18.) Do aur do paanch = Indian algebra

19.) 1 Lady - 1/2 Clothes = Mallika Sherawat

20.) 1 Lady + 1 Buffalo = Yana Gupta,

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

ABCD of friendship...

A: accepts you as you are..

B: believes in you

C: calls you just to say "hi"

D: Does not give up on you...

E: Envisions the whole of you..

F: Forgives your mistakes..

G: Gives uncondionally

H: helps you

I: invites you over

J: just likes to be with you..

K: keeps you close at heart

L: loves for who you are

M: makes a difference in ur life

N: Never judges you..

O: offers support

P: picks up when you are down

Q: quiets ur tears

R: respects you

S: says nice things abt u

T: tells you the truth when u need to hear it

U: understands you

V: values you

W: walks besides you

X: xplains things u don't understand

Y: yells you that how important is you in life

Z: Zaps you when u are e

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Special Friend of Mine

Dear: want to make u as a special friend of mine i 'am leaving it to you to decide what u want to be with me which a are as fallows:-

AF - A friend
BF - Boy friend
CF - Close friend
DF - Dear friend
EF - Ever friend
FF - Familiar friend
GF - girl friend
HF - Helping friend
IF - Innocent friend
JF - Jovial friend
KF - Kind friend
LF - Lovely friend
MF - Merry friend
NF - Naughty friend
OF - Only friend
PF - Personal friend
QF - Quiet friend
RF - Rare friend
SF - Special friend
TF - Thick friend
UV - Understanding friend
VF - Valuable friend
WF - Wonderful friend
XF - Xcellent friend
YF - Youth friend
ZF - Zeal friend

Which One Uuuuuuu Select for our Friendship reply is must...plz. I'm ready to accept ur what so response is i'ld be eage.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Umar ka Khel

Umar 2 Saal.. Nurse Ko ankh mAre..

Umar 3 saal... Bhai ke Cigrate mein Charas dali...

Umar 4 Saal... mandir se Pandit maharaj ke chapal lay key bhaga...

Umer 5 saal... Padosiyoon ki bell Baja ke bhaga...

Umar 6 saal... school ke teacher ko luv letter likha..

Umar 7 saal... pehli baar ghar se bina paise leke bhaga...

Umar 8 Saal... Papa ki Poket se wallet gayab....

Umer 9 saal... aise waise ki cd's Ka dhaanda...

Umar 10 saal... Papa Ki car Road pe..

Umar 11 saal... his 1st candle lite date wit a gal whose 7yr elder then him..

Umar 12 saal... raat Ko subaH, subaH Ko raat....

Umar 13 saal... Hostel mein admmison...

Umar 14 saal... HeadMaster ki baitee ko ley ke Faraar...

Umar 15 saal... Sutte kI duniya Ka baenam baadshah...

Umar 16 saal... pehli baar pakhda gayaa...

Umar 17 Saal... DAaroo kuppi Ki dunya mein naya naam...

Umar 18 saal... Apne college ke principle ko Chaamat mara..

AB maLOOm padha ke Yeh Ladka kaisa Hai...!!!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Friday, August 14, 2009

You are so special…

Your presence is a gift to the world,
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be -
Take it one day at a time

Count your blessings, not your troubles,
And you'll make it through what comes along.
Within you are so many answers,
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don't put limits on yourself,
Your dreams are waiting to be realized.
Don't leave your important decisions to chance -
Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying -
The longer a problem is carried, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously -
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way -
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment,
Life's treasures are people... together.

Have health and hope and happiness,
Take the time to wish on a star.
And don't ever forget for even a day...
How very special YOU are!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

BAT jab "MNC" ho to...

Doobte hue aadmi ne
Pull par chalte hue aadmi ko
Aawaz lagayi "bachao bachao"
Pull par chalte aadmi ne neeche
Rassi fenki aur kaha aaoo...

Nadi mein dobta hua aadmi
Rassi nahi pakad pa raha tha
Rah rah kar chillaa raha tha
Mein marna nahi chahta
Zindagi badi mehengi hai
Kal hi to meri ek MNC mein naukri lagi hai..

Itna sunte hi pul par chalte
Aadmi ne apni rassi kheench li
Aur bhagte bhagte wo MNC gaya
Usne wahan ke HR ko bataya ki
Abhi abhi ek aadmi doobkar mar gaya hai
Aur is tarah aapki company mein
Ek jagah khali kar gaya hai...

Mein berozgaar hoon muje le lo...
HR boli dost tumne der kar di,
ab se kuch der Pehle humne us aadmi ko lagaya hai
Jo usse dhakka de kar tumse pehle yahan aaya hai !!!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Hindi Jokes

संता* (बंता से)- मुझे रात भर नींद नहीं आई।
*बंता* (संता से)- क्यों नहीं आई?
*संता*- क्योंकि कल रात भर नींद में मैं यही सपना देखता रहा कि मैं जाग रहा  हूं।
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जब टाइटेनिक डूब रहा था और सब भाग रहे थे, तब संता ने एक अमेरिकन से पूछा- यहां से जमीन कितनी दूर है?
*अमेरिकन* (संता से)- करीब दो मील दूर।
*संता *(अमेरिकन से)- अरे वाह! मैं तो बहुत अच्छा तैराक हूं। और वह कूद गया।
*संता *(कूदने के बाद)- जमीन किस ओर है?
*अमेरिकन*- नीचे की ओर।
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बंता आधी रात को शराब के नशे में जा रहा था। उसका एक पैर फुटपाथ पर पड़ता और दूसरा सड़क पर। पीछे से थानेदार संता ने उसे एक डंडा जमाते हुए पूछा-  क्यों रे,  कितनी पी रखी है तूने?
बंता ने संभलते हुए कहा- याद दिलाने के लिए शुक्रिया कि मैंने पी रखी है। एक घंटे से तो मैं यही सोचकर परेशान था कि मैं अचानक लंगड़ा कैसे हो गया।
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*राम* (अध्यापक से) - 'मेरा पर्चा इतना खराब तो नहीं हुआ था कि आप मुझे जीरो देते।'
*अध्यापक* (राम से) - 'यह तो मैं भी समझता हूं कि तुम्हें जीरो नहीं दिया जाना चाहिए था, पर मैं इससे कम जानता ही नहीं हूं।'
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एक गंजा मेहमान मेजबान के बच्चे से कहता है, 'बेटा तुम मुझे देखकर हंस क्यों रहे हो?'
*बच्चा- *'अंकल बात यह है कि मम्मी ने मुझे आपके कमरे में शीशा-कंघा रखने के लिए कहा है।'
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*पापा *(सोनू से)- शर्माजी की लड़की को देख, क्लास में फ‌र्स्ट आई है, और तुमने मेरी इज्जत मिट्टी में मिला दी।
*सोनू *(पापा से)- पापा, उसे ही तो देखता था, इसलिए फेल हो गया।
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*रीना *(राकेश से)- मैंने सुना है कि एक आदमी ने महज एक साइकिल के लिए अपनी पत्नी को मायके भेज दिया। तुम तो ऐसे नहीं हो न?
*राकेश *(रीना से)- नहीं डार्लिग, हरगिज नहीं। मैं इतना गिरा हुआ नहीं हूं। मैं तो कार से कम पर मानूंगा ही नहीं।
------------------------------
*रीना* (राकेश से)- मैं मायके जा रही हूं, तुम्हें तलाक की नोटिस भेज दूंगी। *राकेश* (रीना से)- जाओ, जाओ मैं सब समझता हूं मीठी-मीठी बातें करके मुझे खुश करने की कोशिश मत करो।
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*पति *(पत्नी से)- अगर तुम्हें खाना बनाना आता तो मैं आया की छुट्टी कर देता।
*पत्नी *(पति से)- अगर तुम्हें प्यार करना आता तो मैं ड्राइवर की छुट्टी कर देती।
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*पत्नी* (पति से)- क्लब में आज एक दिलचस्प पार्टी है, जिसमें सदस्यों से कहा गया है कि घर से एक फालतू चीज लेकर आएं।
*पति* (पत्नी से)- तो तुम क्या ले जा रही हो?
*पत्‍‌नी *(पति से)- मुझे तो कुछ समझ में नहीं आ रहा है, लेकिन आप चल रहे हैं न!
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*संता *(अपनी बीवी को फोन करके कहता है): आज मैं घर नहीं आऊंगा।
*बीवी: *पर क्यों?
*संता: *क्योंकि मेरी गाड़ी का ब्रेक, एक्सेलरेटर, क्लच, गियर सब कुछ कोई चुरा ले गया है।
बीवी: अच्छा। संता का फिर थोड़ी देर बाद फोन आया और बोला: मैं घर आ रहा हूं।
*बीवी: *पर कैसे?
*संता: *अरी, मैं पीछे की सीट पर बैठ गया था।
------------------------------
संता अपने मैरिज सर्टिफिकेट को एक घंटे से देखे जा रहा था।
*बंता *(संता से)- यार संता, तुम इतनी देर से अपनी मैरिज सर्टिफिकेट में क्या देख रहे हो?
*संता *(बंता से)- एक्सपाइरी डेट ढूंढ रहा हूं।
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*संता *(बंता से)- तुम सोकर कितने बजे उठते हो?
*बंता *(संता से)- जब सूरज की किरणें खिड़कियों से होकर मेरे कमरे में आने लगती हैं।
*संता *(बंता से)- वाह, तुम तो एकदम सुबह उठ जाते हो।
*बंता *(संता से)- नहीं, दरअसल मेरी खिड़कियां पश्चिम की तरफ खुलती हैं।
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एक बार संता सिंह को 20 लाख की लॉटरी खुली। संता सिंह पैसे लेने लॉटरी वाले के पास गए।
नंबर मिलाने के बाद लॉटरी वाले ने कहा कि ठीक है सर हम आपको अभी 1 लाख रुपए देंगे और बाकी के 19 लाख आप अगले 19 हफ्तों तक ले सकते हैं।
संता सिंह बोले नहीं मुझे अपने पूरे पैसे अभी ही चाहिए नहीं तो आप मेरे 5 रुपए वापस कर दीजिए।
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संता और बंता को तीन बम मिले।
दोनों पुलिस थाने में देने गए।
*बंता* (संता से)- अगर इसमें से एक बम फट गया तो..
*संता* (बंता से)- हम कह देंगे कि हमें केवल दो ही बम मिले थे।
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*बंता* (संता से)- ऐसा लगता है कि वो लड़की ऊंचा सुनती है। मैं कुछ कहता हूं वो कुछ और ही बोलती है।
*संता *(बंता से)- वो कैसे?
*बंता*- मैने कहा आई लव यू, तो वह बोली मैंने कल ही नए सैंडल खरीदे हैं।
________________________________________________

*सोनू *(मोनू से)- तुम्हारी छतरी में तो छेद है।
*मोनू *(सोनू से)- हां पता है और इसे मैंने ही किया है।
*सोनू*- लेकिन क्यों?
*मोनू*- अरे यार जब बारिश बंद होती है तो पता चल जाता है।
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*मास्टर जी *(रोहन से)- तुम्हारी जेब में तीन पाई हैं। अगर इसमें एक पाई और डाल दें तो क्या होगा?
*रोहन *(मास्टर जी से)- मेरी जेब फट जाएगी।
*मास्टर जी*- वह कैसे?
*रोहन *- आप खुद बताइए मेरी इतनी छोटी जेब में चारपाई कैसे आएगी!
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*सुरेश *(चिंटू से)- चिंटू, तुमने अभी तक दुनिया का नक्शा क्यों नहीं खरीदा?
*चिंटृू *(सुरेश से)- पिताजी कहते हैं कि दुनिया तेजी से बदल रही है। मैंने सोचा, जब स्थिर हो जाएगी तब खरीदूंगा।
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*पिता *(पुत्र से)- बेवकूफ यह क्या कर रहा है? हाथों के बल क्यों चल रहा है?
*पुत्र *(पिता से)- आपकी इच्छा का पालन कर रहा हूं डैडी। आपने कहा था न, अगर तू फेल हो गया, तो घर में कदम नहीं रखने दूंगा।
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*पिता *(पुत्र से)- बेटा स्कूल में यह इनाम क्यों मिला है?
*पुत्र *(पिता से)- वाद विवाद में एक घंटा बोलने पर।
*पिता*- अच्छा वाद विवाद का विषय क्या था?
*पुत्र*- कम बोलने से होने वाले फायदे।
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*सोनू* (मां से)- मां, आज मेरा दोस्त मेरे घर आ रहा है घर के सभी खिलौने छुपा दे।
*मां* (सोनू से)- तुम्हारा दोस्त चोर है क्या?
*सोनू*- नहीं वह अपने खिलौने पहचान लेगा।
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सोनू को मैथ्स के पेपर में जीरो मिला।
*मां *(सोनू से)- सोनू ! तुम्हें मैथ्स में जीरो क्यों मिला?
*सोनू *(मां से)- मां टीचर के पास स्टार खत्म हो गए थे तो उन्होंने प्लेनेट देना शुरू कर दिया।
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*पति* (पत्नी से)- क्यों न आज की चाय बाहर चलकर पी जाए।
*पत्नी* (पति से)- क्यों तुम्हें क्या लगता है कि मैं चाय बनाते-बनाते थक गई हूं।
*पति*- अरे नहीं, दरअसल मैं ही कप प्लेट धोते-धोते तंग आ गया हूं।
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*प्रिया* (पति से)- मैंने सुना है कि इस मौसम की चांदनी रातों में समझदार लोग भी पागल हो जाते हैं?
पति ने लंबी सांस लेते हुए जवाब दिया, हां, ऐसे ही मौसम की एक चादंनी रात में मैंने तुम्हें शादी के लिए प्रपोज किया था।
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*पत्नी* (पति से) - आज तक तुमने अपनी जिंदगी में किया ही क्या है?
*पति *(पत्नी से)- मैंने अपना जीवन खुद बनाया है।
*पत्नी*- लो, और मैं हूं कि अब तक ईश्वर को दोष दे रही थी।
------------------------------
*पत्नी* (पति से)- सुनो जी, अगर इसी रफ्तार से तुम्हारे सिर के बाल झड़ते रहे तो एक दिन मैं तुम्हें तलाक दे दूंगी। मुझे गंजे लोग बिलकुल पसंद नहीं है।
*पति* (पत्नी से)- ऐं मैं भी कितना बेवकूफ हूं, जो कुछ अच्छा मांगने के बजाए भगवान से हमेशा कहता रहा कि मेरे बाल सही सलामत रहे।
------------------------------
*शीना* (रमेश से)- जानते हो मैंने 16 सोमवार व्रत रखा, सालों मंदिरों में मन्नत मांगी, सैंकड़ों गरीबों को दान दिया, तब जाकर कहीं तुम्हें पाया है।
*रमेश* (शीना से)- अच्छा! अगर यह सब न करती तो क्या होता?
*शीना-* तो क्या, तुमसे भी गया गुजरा कोई पल्ले पड़ जाता।
------------------------------
*पति *(पत्नी से)- मैंने आज रात को एक दोस्त को खाने पर बुलाया है।
*पत्नी* (गुस्से में)- तुम्हें हो क्या गया है, घर कैसे फैला हुआ है, मैं
शॅपिंग के लिए भी नहीं गई, बर्तन भी गंदे पड़े हैं और खाना भी आज अच्छा नहीं बनने वाला।
*पति *- मुझे पता है।
*पत्नी* - फिर तुमने अपने दोस्त को क्यों बुलाया?
*पति* - क्योंकि वह बेवकूफ शादी करना चाहता है।
------------------------------
मालिक ने अपने सेक्रेटरी से डांटकर पूछा- मिस रीता, तुम ऑफिस में देर से क्यों आई?
*रीता *- जी, एक नौजवान मेरा पीछा कर रहा था।
*मालिक *(गुस्से में)- यह भी कोई वजह है?
*रीता *- हां बॉस..वह बहुत धीरे-धीरे चल रहा था।
------------------------------
एक किशोर शराब पीकर नशे की हालत में सड़क पर खड़ा था।
*हवलदार* (किशोर से)- यहां क्यों खड़े हो?
*किशोर* - इस समय सारा शहर मेरी आंखों के सामने घूम रहा है, अपना घर आते ही घुस जाऊंगा।
------------------------------
एक बार दो मनचले युवक एक समारोह में खाना खाना चले गए। समारोह के घर वालों ने एक युवक से पूछा- जी हमने आपको पहचाना नहीं, आप कैसे आए है?
युवक ने कहा- मैं लड़के वाले की तरफ से हूं। दूसरे युवक से पूछा तो उसने कहा- जी मैं लड़की वालों की तरफ से हूं।
घर वालों ने कहा- खाना बेशक खाओ, लेकिन यहां कोई शादी नहीं हो रही है, हमारे पिता जी की तेरहवीं है आज।

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                      Keep Comment

Har Ghadi Khud Se

Har ghadi khud se ulajhna hai mukadar mera,
Main hi kashti hoon mujhme hai samundar mera,

Ek se ho gaye mousamon ke chehre saare,
Meri aankhon se kahi kho gaya manzar mera,

Kisse poochu ke kaha gum hoon kai barso se,
Har jagah dhoondta phirta hai mujhe ghar mera,

Mudadtein ho gayi ek khawaab sunehra dekhe,
Jagta rehta hai har neend mein bistar mera,

Har ghadi khud se ulajhna hai mukkadar mera,
Main hi kashti hoon mujhie mein hai sumandar mera..

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)             Keep Comment

Jokes

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

*******

Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

*******
Boss: I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k.
Sardar: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k. ......but??
How much is DRIVING salary...?

*******

Sardar's theory: Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night
when light is needed
& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

*******

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to
check whether its working,
He puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES...NO...

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                   Keep Comment

How Girls turn Guys down

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                     Keep Comment

ENJOY... Jokes

If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.

*.*.*.*

Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra...
When a boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....

*.*.*.*

Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse ke 4 button me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe Jo
aati hai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.

*.*.*.*.*

Love is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex.
It's all about Trusting Respecting & Accepting a person
With open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying push it more.

*.*.*.*.

Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternoon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

*.*.*.*.*

Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard.
She went straight to her n asked: What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!

*.*.*.*.*

Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.

*.*.*.*

Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Girl: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.

Keep Comment

The Most – Greatest – Deadliest

The Most Destructive Habit............................. Worry

The Greatest Joy..........................................Giving

The Greatest Loss.......................... Loss of Self-Respect

The Most Satisfying Work...........Helping Others

The Ugliest Personality Trait...................Selfishness

The Most Endangered Species............Dedicated Leaders

Our Greatest Natural Resource...................Our Youth

The Greatest "Shot in the Arm"...............Encouragement

The Greatest Problem to Overcome...................Fear

The Most Effective Sleeping Pill...........Peace of Mind

The Most Crippling Failure Disease................Excuses

The Most Powerful Force in Life...................Love

The Most Dangerous Pariah...................A Gossiper

The World's Most Incredible Computer............The Brain

The Worst Thing to Be Without.......................Hope

The Deadliest Weapon...........................The Tongue

The Two Most Power-Filled Words...................”I Can"

The Greatest Asset........................................Faith

The Most Worthless Emotion........................Self- Pity

The Most Beautiful Attire...........................Smile!

The Most Prized Possession...................Integrity

The Most Powerful Channel of Communication........Prayer

The Most Contagious Spirit......................Enthusiasm

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                    Keep Comment

Uth Ke Mehfil Se

Kuch na kuch to zaroor hona hai,

Saamna aaj unse hona hai,

Todo, phenko,rakho, karo kuch bhi,

Dil humara hai kya khilona hai,

Zindagi aur maut ka matlab,

Tumko paana hai tumko khona hai,

Itna darna bhi kya hai duniya se,

Jo bhi hona hai woh to hona hai,

Uth ke mehfil se mat chale jaana,

Tumse roshan yeh kona kona hai.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                    Keep Comment

No God or Know God?

No God or Know God?

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem

Science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is

This God good then? Hmm? (Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God

Good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From...God....

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible

Things exist in the world, don't they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the

World around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your

God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God For?

That matter?

Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable,

Demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say?

To that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science

Has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as

Heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this Turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even

More heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But

We don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which

Is no heat?

But we can't go any further after that. There is

No such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of

Heat. We cannot measure cold.

Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat,

Sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture Theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there

Such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the

Absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light,

Flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and

Its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't.

If it were you would be able to make darkness

Darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young

Man?

Student: Sir, my point is you’re philosophical

Premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of

Duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a

Bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something

We can measure.

Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It

Uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully

Understood either one.

To view death as the opposite of life is to be

Ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death

Is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it? Now tell me, Professor.

Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural

Evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with

Your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile,

Beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the

Process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an

On-going Endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a

Scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has

Ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard

The Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have

Done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable,

Demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust?

Your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable. )

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith,

Son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man &

God is FAITH.

That is all that keeps things moving & alive..................

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                      Keep Comment

Manjil Kareeb Aayi To

Muddat se jiske waaste dil beqarar tha

Wo laut kar na aaya magar intezaar tha

Jo hamsafar tha chorr gaya raah mein mujhe

Mein phans gaya bhanwar mein, wo darya ke paar tha

Manzil qareeb aayi tuo tum door ho gaye

Itna to tum batao ke ye kesa pyar tha

Devaar banadi ye kiss ne dono ke darmiyan

Na wo sukoon se bhaita, na mujhko qaraar tha

Ye baat umar bhar smajh na paya mein

Kyun dil mera uss bewafa ka talabgar tha

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                      Keep Comment

MERI ZINDAGI ME GAMO KA AASMAAN

MERI ZINDAGI ME GAMO KA AASMAAN ABHI BAAKI HAI

TERE HOTHON SE FAATIHA SUNNA MERI JAAN ABHI BAAKI HAI

BAAD KATL KE MERE AFSOS KYUN KARTA HAI TU

LAGTA HAI TERE ANDER KA INSAAN ABHI BAAKI HAI

KAB TAK MITAATE RAHOGE MERE ISHQ KI NISHAANIYA

MERE DIL ME TERI YAADO KA SHAMSHAAN ABHI BAAKI HAI

WAZOOD MIT CHUKA HAI MAGAR DIL SAMHAAL RAKHA HAI

WAKIF HAI HAM TERE JALWON KA TOOFAAN ABHI BAAKI HAI

USE DEKHNE KE GUNAAH PE JAAN DE BAITHE HAIN HAM

AE " LOVENISMI " USE CHAHNE KA ILZAAM ABHI BAAKI HAI

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                      Keep Comment

Jab bhi qareeb aati hoon batanay ke liye....

Jab bhi qareeb aati hoon batanay ke liye

Zindagi door rakhti hai satanay ke liye

Mehfilon ki shaan na samajhna mujhay

Main to hansti hoon gham chupanay ke liye

In faaslon ko na samjho  meri be-Wafayi

Main door hoon tumse, paas aanay ke liye

jano haqeeqat mere in Aansuon ko

Main to rooti hoon tumhein  rulanay ke liye

Koi gila nahi hai mujhay apni barbadi ka

Main to khaili thi aag se jal janay ke liye

Ab duniya kuch bhi kahay, mujhay parwa nahi

Main to jeeti thi zindagi, mar janay k liye

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                       Keep Comment

Love is Everything

Love is Everything
Lisa loved basketball
Friends and parties too
And when it came to painting
That's all she wanted to do
She painted everything she saw
Birds, flowers, and the sky
Some days she sat at her window
And painted everything that passed her by
But lately she'd been feeling woozy
Her muscles ached a lot
And her parents got kind of worried
So they took her to the doc
The doctor took a couple of tests
To see if everything was okay
Then the nurse came out with a look of sadness
And this is what she had to say;
"I'm sorry but you've got leukemia,"
"You've got about 3 months more."
Then Lisa got up and ran out of the room
And slammed the office door
She ran down the street screaming
And cried her eyes out dry
And stayed up all night
Wondering what it's like to die
Her parents held her tightly
And said, "We love you,"
"We'll make your last few months the greatest,"
"We'll do anything for you."
So Lisa and her parents moved to Florida
To live by the sea
Because Lisa loved the ocean
And when she dies, that's where she wanted to be
She spent her days painting
And horseback riding in by the bay
But one day she met this guy
And his name was Jay
They collected seashells together
And talked about all kinds of things
And then one day while walking
He handed her a ring It said,"I love you,"
Which brought tears to Lisa's eyes
And when he put it on her finger
She began to cry
He asked her what was wrong, and she replied,
"I've got leukemia, and about a month more."
He said," No matter what, I love you,"
"And no matter what, you are the one I adore."
So they spent everyday together
And swam in the Atlantic all day
But Lisa was getting weaker
And it was hard for her stay awake
So one day Lisa painted her picture
And gave it to Jay She said,
"I want you to remember me,"
"Even when I leave this place."
But one day while they were walking
And searching for seashells in the sand
Lisa collapsed and started to lose her breath
And said to Jay, "Please hold my hand."
"I love you more than anyone,"
You are my only true love,"
"But now my time is up,"
"And I'll watch over you from above,"
Then Lisa's body was lifeless
As she lay in Jay's arms
And he sat there all day
And kept her safe from harm!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                     Keep Comment

Tum jo is tarha mujh se door chale jaoge

Tum jo is tarha mujh se door chale jaoge

Qasam hai sanam tum bohat yaad aaoge

Chandni raat hogi aur mai rahoungi tanha

Tum muskurate hue mujh ko nazar aaoge

Kiya to tha tum ne hi mujhe sanam beqaraar itna

Kya kabhi tum mere dil ko samjha paaoge

milna chahoun ager mai tum se kabhi sanam

kaho kis din tum mere khawaboun mein aaoge

Aa bhi jao sanam na tardpao mujhe itna

Jab mera janaza niklega kya tum deedaar ko  aaoge

Rulati hai yaad akser mujhe teri ratoun mein

In ashkoun ke badle kya mujhe khushi de paaoge

Kehte ho ki hai mohabbat tumhein bhi NaaZ se

Kya thaam kar hath mera tum zamane se keh paaoge

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                    Keep Comment

bichhati apni palaken tere pairon ke tale bhi main

bichhati apni palaken tere pairon ke tale bhi main
jo tera saath milta doosari hi ban ke rahti main

tere darwaze pe main khud diya ban ke jala karti
jo ye hota to hamdam baat koi aur hi hoti

tu mujhse roothne ka ek bhi pal chhant na pata
main teri har khushi pe is tarah qurban ho jaati

hamara ghar hi phir ek bagh hota apni chahat ka
jahaan ke har ik phool ka khwab hota usme o bula lete

meri nazron hi me na tum jo meri zindagi me hote
to main ek doosari hoti zindagi khushnuma hoti

magar tum khwab the mera to bas khwabo tak rah pae
na tum tak main pahunch paai na mujh tak tum pahunch paae

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                       Keep Comment

aaj bhi wo meri rah dekhti to hogi....

aaj bhi wo meri rah dekhti to hogi
dharkno se mera pata puchhti to hogi......

yun begana na thaa mera khyaal us se
fursat mein wo mujhe soachti to hogi.....

jis roz se jalaye honge mere khat usne
sard sii aag mein khud bhi jalti to hogi.......

jaado ke mausam mein ab bhi kabhi
meri saanso ko mehsoos karti to hogi.....

achanak wo mujhe saamne dekh kar
ungliyon se aankhon ko machlti to hogi....

aaj bhi meri raakh ke dher mein yaaro
koii chingari umeed ki sulagti to hogi......

zamane ki rounko mein bhool jaati hogi
tanhai mein mujhe gungunati to hogi......

kar liya hoga usne azaad khudko mujse
magar meri yaad rah uska rokti to hogi........

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                 Keep Comment

Remembering My Classmates...

Remembering my class mates,
after few years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Everyone now is busy a lot,
No one escaped destinies plot

Saw the girl, whom once i thought as my best frnd,
Oops! today she is somebody else girlfrnd,
After months remembered about her for a little while,
Heard she is happy,that made me smile.

Project reviews to campus interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,
Short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything is fresh in our mind,
Wish life could just rewind,
Lets laugh, play & rejoice,
Once again become school guys.

Chatting & laughing. We all were in elation,
Till the painful moments of separation,
When it was time to part,
We returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,
And too many worries,
But those cherished moments,
Will live forever in our memories!!!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                     Keep Comment

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The difference between you & your boss

ME and MY BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don't do it, 
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told, 
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, 
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss, 
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating, 

When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, 
He's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked 

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

what to do?????????????

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                     Keep Comments

Life Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
**
**

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
**
**

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
**
**

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
**
**

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
**
**

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
**
**

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW
CAN HANDLE IT.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Friday, July 3, 2009

How's Break Friendship

Hello to all.....

Asbat

Sayz IT IS VERY TRUE.......................

HOW  FRIENDSHIPS  BREAK ?
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Both Friends Will Think The Other Is Busy
image image
And Will Not Contact image Thinking It May Be Disturbing..
As Time Passes
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Both Will Think Let The Other Contact
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After That each Will Think Why I Should Contact First ?
image image image
Here Your Love Will Be  Converted To Hate
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Finally Without Contact The Memory Becomes Weak
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They Forget Each Other.
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So Keep In Touch With All And Pass This TO All Your Friends...
image . image
I Don`t Want To be One Of This Kind.
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So Here I Am sending Mail To Every One
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To Say  

Dear .
I Am Fine Here 

Please keep in touch with me 

Baapu Ne Bola Hai.......
'Agar koi tumhe Email na kare,  Good Morning/Good Evening na bole,
Call/SMS bhi na kare... to koi baat nahi, tum Email karte raho....
Good Morning/Good Evening bolate raho......

Call/SMS bhi karate raho.......
Dekhna, Uski aatma ek din jaroor jaagegi.
Aur vo tumhe E-Mail/Call/ SMS jaroor Karega/Karegi'

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Aur agar fir bhi koi E-Mail/Call/ SMS nahi aaye,
to uske paas jana,  use ek Guldasta dena.... aur kahna.......
'GET WELL SOON MAAMU'

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Ha Ha Ha Ha

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.... Have a Nice Day...

.
With Best Regards,

dhrumil bhavsar

Saturday, June 6, 2009

यदि बिल गेट्स बॉलीवुड फिल्में बनाने लगें तो उनकी फिल्मों के नाम कैसे होंगे ?

जरा इन नामों पर गौर फरमाएं -

1. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
3. Aao Chat Kare
4. Programmer No.1
5. Mera Naam Developer
6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein
8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal
9. Tera Code Chal Gaya
10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega
11. Network Ke Us Paar
12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai
14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!
15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari
16. Login Karo Sajana
17. Naukar PC Ka
18. 1942 -- A Bug Story
19. Kaho Na Virus Hai
20. Crash Se Crash Tak
21. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
22. Password De Ke Dekh

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Friday, June 5, 2009

PATNI CHALISA (LOL HA HA)

PATNI CHALISA (LOL HA HA)

Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||

Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||

Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||

Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||

Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||

PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave..... || 6 ||

- - LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Friday, May 29, 2009

ફાલતુ’ સવાલોના ‘ફાલતુ’ જવાબો


મંદિરના પગથીયા ઉતરતા હોઈએ ત્યારે કોઈક સામે મળે ને પૂછે: “કેમ? દર્શન કરી આવ્યા?”
“ના. મંદિરમાં અંદર લાઈન મારવા ગયો હતો!”
***
સવારે તૈયાર થઈ બ્રીફકેસ લઈ ઘરેથી બહાર નીકળીએ, પડોસી પૂછેઃ “શું નોકરી પર જાવ છો?”
“ના. બગીચામાં આંટો મારવા નીકળ્યો છુ!”
***
દીકરીના લગન પછી…“શું દીકરી ને વરાવી?”
“ના., આ તો હવાફેર કરવા એના સાસરે ગઈ છે!”
***
” શું દીકરાને પરણાવી આવ્યા?”
” ના., ના, આ તો બાજુના ગામમાંથી સાતફેરા ફેરવીને, મંગલસુત્ર પહેરાવીને, વીંટી પહેરાવીને અને છેડા બાંધીને ઓળખીતાની દીકરીને ઘરે લઈ આવ્યા!”
***
કાકાને વરંડામાં ચા પીતાં જોઈ ને…” શું કાકા ચા પીવો છો?”
” ના., રકાબી ચાટું છું!”

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Truth about Failure...

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure...
--- it does mean you haven't succeeded yet.

Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing...
--- it does mean you have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean you have been a fool...
--- it does mean you had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced...
--- it does mean you were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean you don't have it...
--- it does mean you have to do something in a different
way.

Failure doesn't mean you are inferior...
--- it does mean you are not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life...
--- it does mean you've got a reason to start afresh.

Failure doesn't mean you should give up...
--- it does mean you should try harder.


Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it...
--- it does mean it will take a little longer.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा

अरे हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा,
गैरों में कहाँ दम था.
मेरी हड्डी वहाँ टूटी,
जहाँ हॉस्पिटल बन्द था.
मुझे जिस एम्बुलेन्स में डाला,
उसका पेट्रोल ख़त्म था.
मुझे रिक्शे में इसलिए बैठाया,
क्योंकि उसका किराया कम था.
मुझे डॉक्टरों ने उठाया,
नर्सों में कहाँ दम था.
मुझे जिस बेड पर लेटाया,
उसके नीचे बम था.
मुझे तो बम से उड़ाया,
गोली में कहाँ दम था.
और मुझे सड़क में दफनाया,
क्योंकि कब्रिस्तान में फंक्शन था

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Kiss Of Life

*The Kiss Of Life*

It was a unforgettable day...

Before you kissed me only winds of heaven
Had kissed me, and the tenderness of rain -
Now you have come, how can I care for kisses
Like theirs again?

I sought the sea, she sent her winds to meet me,
They surged about me singing of the south -
I turned my head away to keep still holy
Your kiss upon my mouth.

And swift sweet rains of shining April weather
Found not my lips where living kisses are;
I bowed my head lest they put out my glory
As rain puts out a star.

I am my love's and she is mine forever,
Sealed with a seal and safe forevermore -
Think you that I could let a beggar enter
Where a king stood before?

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Jab bhi qareeb aati hoon batanay ke liye....

Jab bhi qareeb aati hoon batanay ke liye
Zindagi door rakhti hai satanay ke liye

Mehfilon ki shaan na samajhna mujhay
Main to hansti hoon gham chupanay ke liye

In faaslon ko na samjho  meri be-Wafayi
Main door hoon tumse, paas aanay ke liye

jano haqeeqat mere in Aansuon ko
Main to rooti hoon tumhein  rulanay ke liye

Koi gila nahi hai mujhay apni barbadi ka
Main to khaili thi aag se jal janay ke liye

Ab duniya kuch bhi kahay, mujhay parwa nahi
Main to jeeti thi zindagi, mar janay k liye

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

No matter

No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,

I just want to tell YOU….

*****************************************

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",

Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"

WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!

*****************************************

Aap itrate bahut ho
Dil ko behlate bahut ho

Sochte hai aap ko DINNER par le jaaye
Par kya kare ZALIM tum khate bahut ho.

*****************************************

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,

Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
Aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

LIFE WITHOUT GIRLS

LIFE WITHOUT GIRLS:

The result

Markets silent

Streets empty

The police at rest

All mobile companies in loss

No SMS

No Flowers

No Valentine

No Candles

No Perfumes

All the men directed to Heaven.