Men are like

Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize

it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

1. Men are like. .... Laxatives. ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like. Bananas....... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like...... Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like. Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like..... Chocolate Bars.... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like.... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like..... . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like..... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ... Popcorn..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms.... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like........... Lava Lamps.... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13.Men are like Parking Spots.......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

- LoveNismi( Ansh Rav )

Overconfidence!!!

Overconfidence!!!

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said,

"But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one bigger taste before declaring, "I give up, what it is?"

With great glee, the boy replied,

-LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha hey hey Ha ha ha !!!

Galileo used to study in small lamp,

Graham bell used to study in candle,

Shekspeare used to study in street lite,

.

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.

.

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Mujhe yeh samaj nahi aata "SAALE DIN ME JHAK MARTE THE KYA"....

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Harbhajan Singh ne apni premika se pucha kya main tumhara pehla pyar hu,

Ladki Boli... Kar di na Sardaro wali baat... SPINNERS ko kabhi new ball milti hai....

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Bus Chali, Jhatka Laga,

1 Sarda, 1 Ladki par ja gira...

Ladki Boli - Batmeej kya kar rahe ho?

Sardar Bola - Ji Punjab University se B.Com kar raha hu...

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Judge - Why did you attack that young man?

Old Lady - He grabbed me, took my clothes off, threw me on the bed & shouted APRIL FOOL...

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Puri botal na sahi, ek jaam to ho jaye,

milna na sahi, dua salam to ho jaye,

jinki yaad mai hum bimar pade hai,

kam se kam unhe jukam to ho jaye..... Wah... Wah... Wah.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Ashwarya - Main tere liye sab chod dungi,

Abhishek - Maa - baap,

Ash - haan,

Abhi - bhai bhehan,

Ash - haan,

Abhi - films,

Ash - haan,

Abhishek - Aur VIVEK, SALMAN & ASHISH ko bhi?

Ash - Apni aukat me reho. Vivek, Salman tak thik hai magar ASHISH nahi...

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Pramod Mahajan Ke Bhai ne usse goli marr di,

bcoz wo use ignore karta tha, na msg karta tha na mail karta tha, na reply

Aapka kya khayal hai....

Reply karenge..?

Ya Subah ghar aaun...?

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

An old man marries is a young girl.

Interviewer asks to girl - Aapne in me Shaadi ke liye kya dekha.

Girl - Ek to inki "in come" our doosra inke "din come"....

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*

Banta kal raat ek ladki mujhe scooty par bahut durr le gaye, sare kapade

utar ke boli jo chahiye le lo, main scooty le aaya, kapado ka kya karta main.......

-LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav )

FROM MY HEART

Koi nahi jo mujhe smabhale
Koi nahi jo mujhe sahare
Koi nahi jo mujhe dekhe
Koi nahi jo mujhe samjhey
Koi nahi jo mujhe pahachane
Koi nahi jo main ruthoo to manaye
Koi nahi jo mujhe apnaye
Koi nahi jo mujhe pyar kare

Phir bhi dil kyun bekarar hai Lage ki jesay koi mere bahut karib hai Jis ke bina meri ye choti si zindegi adhuri hai Phir bhi dil bar bar ye hi kahe ki Koi to hai jo mujhe kabhi na kabhi yar karega kya ye meri kalpana hai ya phir meri dil ki bhawana hai? meri umeed hai?

With Love and Care Always

Regards,

- loveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

SARDAR JI AGAIN.......

Sardar ji-Bus station jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Sardarji: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Sardar ji: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

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Sardar ji kissed his girl friend in the park.

Girl: Plz ye sab shadi se pehle…
Sardar ji: Don't worry darling, I'm already married.

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Sardar ji: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to kisi doctor se shadi kar
Lena.
Wife: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Sardar ji: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi ek rasta hai!

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Sardar ji & his friend are walking down the road when Sardar ji'
friend says: Look at that dog with one eye!
Sardar ji covers one of his eyes and says: Where?

Sardar ji: What is the similarity between Bill Gates and Me?
Friend: Don't know.
Sardar ji: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go to his!

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Sardar ji was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'

He wrote: I was made by a mistake.

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Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Sardar ji: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!

Sardar ji was busy in removing a wheel from auto,

His friend asks: Why r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Sardar ji: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

See what a spelling mistake can do...
Sardar ji went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u
were Her

Some people can tell time by looking at the sun.
Sardar ji: But I've never been able to see the numbers