Jokes

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

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Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

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Boss: I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k.
Sardar: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k. ......but??
How much is DRIVING salary...?

*******

Sardar's theory: Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night
when light is needed
& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

*******

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to
check whether its working,
He puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES...NO...

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                   Keep Comment

How Girls turn Guys down

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                     Keep Comment

ENJOY... Jokes

If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.

*.*.*.*

Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra...
When a boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....

*.*.*.*

Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse ke 4 button me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe Jo
aati hai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.

*.*.*.*.*

Love is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex.
It's all about Trusting Respecting & Accepting a person
With open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying push it more.

*.*.*.*.

Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternoon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

*.*.*.*.*

Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard.
She went straight to her n asked: What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!

*.*.*.*.*

Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.

*.*.*.*

Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Girl: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.

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The Most – Greatest – Deadliest

The Most Destructive Habit............................. Worry

The Greatest Joy..........................................Giving

The Greatest Loss.......................... Loss of Self-Respect

The Most Satisfying Work...........Helping Others

The Ugliest Personality Trait...................Selfishness

The Most Endangered Species............Dedicated Leaders

Our Greatest Natural Resource...................Our Youth

The Greatest "Shot in the Arm"...............Encouragement

The Greatest Problem to Overcome...................Fear

The Most Effective Sleeping Pill...........Peace of Mind

The Most Crippling Failure Disease................Excuses

The Most Powerful Force in Life...................Love

The Most Dangerous Pariah...................A Gossiper

The World's Most Incredible Computer............The Brain

The Worst Thing to Be Without.......................Hope

The Deadliest Weapon...........................The Tongue

The Two Most Power-Filled Words...................”I Can"

The Greatest Asset........................................Faith

The Most Worthless Emotion........................Self- Pity

The Most Beautiful Attire...........................Smile!

The Most Prized Possession...................Integrity

The Most Powerful Channel of Communication........Prayer

The Most Contagious Spirit......................Enthusiasm

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                    Keep Comment

Uth Ke Mehfil Se

Kuch na kuch to zaroor hona hai,

Saamna aaj unse hona hai,

Todo, phenko,rakho, karo kuch bhi,

Dil humara hai kya khilona hai,

Zindagi aur maut ka matlab,

Tumko paana hai tumko khona hai,

Itna darna bhi kya hai duniya se,

Jo bhi hona hai woh to hona hai,

Uth ke mehfil se mat chale jaana,

Tumse roshan yeh kona kona hai.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)                    Keep Comment