Easy – Difficult Comparison Chart

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

10 Best Moments in Life

1. Giving the 1^st month salary to your parents with care.

2. Thinking your love with tears.

3. Looking old photos & smiling.

4. Thinking your past school and college days.

5. A sweet & emotional chat with friends

6. Finding money in old dress when needed.

7. Holding hands with your loved ones for a walk.

8. Getting a hug from one who cares you.

9. 1^st kiss to your child when he /she born.

10. The moments when your eyes are filled with tears after a big laugh.

દિલથી ભારતવાસી

અમે યુ.એસ.એ. ના રહેવાસી પણ છીએ દિલથી ભારતવાસી

અમેરિકા તો વર્લ્ડ-ક્લાસ છે મનમાં એવો દમામ
ડોલર-સેંટમાં દીઠા સૌએ અડસઠ તીરથધામ

ન્યુ જર્સી કે મેનહટન વોશિંગટન બાલ્ટીમોર
વેસ્ટ કોસ્ટમાં હોલીવુડ ને ડીઝની કેરો શોર

સાંજ પડે ને સાંભરે અમને ડેડ-મોમ ને માસી
અમે યુ.એસ.એ. ના રહેવાસી પણ છીએ દિલથી ભારતવાસી

મોટલ વાળા પટેલ મગનભાઇ મેક થયા છે ભાઇ
નોખા રહેતા ઇંડિયન થઇ કહેવાયા એન.આર.આઇ

સ્વીચ ઉંધી નળ ઉંધા ચાલે ગાડી ઉંધે પાટે
ક્રિકેટ ગિલ્લી-દંડા છોડી બેઝબોલ માટે બાધે

ગોટ-પિટ ગોટપિટ કરતા જો મોટેલ પર બેઠા માસી
અમે યુ.એસ.એ. ના રહેવાસી પણ છીએ દિલથી ભારતવાસી


- Lovenismi (Ansh Rav)

Lord of Tirupati – Balaji

Shree Lord  Tirupati  Balaji

 

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Shree Lord Ganesha

 

The Lord Ganesha

20 Golden Rules for any Office

Rule 1
The Boss is always right.

Rule 2
If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3
Those who work get more work.
Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

Rule 4
Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down".
The more intelligent a person,
the more hardworking a person,
the more committed a person;
the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

Rule 5
If you are good, you will get all the work.
If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Rule 6
When the Bosses talk about improving productivity,
they are never talking about themselves.

Rule 7
It doesn't matter what you do,
it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

Rule 8
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Rule 9
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Rule 10
The more crap you put up with,
the more crap you are going to get.

Rule 11
If at first you don't succeed, try again.
Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.

Rule 12
When you don't know what to do,
walk fast and look worried.

Rule 13
Following the rules will not get the job done.

Rule 14
If it weren't for the last minute,
nothing would get done.

Rule 15
Everything can be filed under
"Miscellaneous".

Rule 16
No matter how much you do,
you never do enough.

Rule 17
You can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

Rule 18
In order to get a promotion,
you need not necessarily know your job.

Rule 19
In order to get a promotion,
you only need to pretend that you know your job.

Rule 20
The last person that quit or was fired
will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Questions Of Life

How many steps will it take to walk a mile?
How many seconds will it take to wait a while?
How many battles do we need for us to win?
How many Gods do we need to forgive our sins?

How many times must a man betray his faith?
How many times can a man control his hate?
When do we say that justice isn't fair??
How can we endure the burden that we bear?

Where is the youth who will dare?
Where can we find the people who really care?
Where can we find the road to success?
Is it in the north, south, east, or west?

Where can I find true love?
That God had gave from above?
How many struggles do we need to make it through?
When do we say that a statement is false or true?

How can I forgive others?
When they killed my peers?
Can you give help to those people in need?
After they have dropped you and you bleed?

Who are the people you can trust?
In this world, to fight is a must.
The world will continue to evolve,
Until those questions have been solved.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

44 NETWORK MARKETING DOs and DON'Ts

1) Start with written goals and plans!

2) Don't wait for everything to be exactly right to start. IT NEVER WILL! Start now, with whatever you have. The things you need will come to you as you work towards your goal.

3) Realize that "rejection" is natural. For every 20 people you contact, expect 19 "no's" for every "yes." You may very well do better than that, but expect 19 rejections. This way, the rejections won't bother you because you expect them. Also, realize that they're not rejecting YOU - they're simply rejecting an idea. Just keep moving ahead. Be persistent, ignore the rejections, and you'll get more than enough "yes's" to build a highly successful business. Always remember: Some will. Some won't. So what? Someone's waiting. Next!

4) Treat your network marketing business as a serious, full-time business, and it will become one.

5) Follow-ups are just as important as the initial contact. If a person hasn't joined yet, following up with more exciting information can turn the tide. Many people report that they get their best people after following up 3-5 times.

6) Be patient. You'll work the hardest your first six months and get compensated the least. Big incomes never happen overnight in network marketing. They only come after you've properly shown your personally-sponsored d people how to duplicate your efforts. Network Marketing is a numbers game.

7) Don't give your Distributors unrealistic expectations.

8) Be willing to invest more money into your business than you get out of it in the beginning.

9) Don't quit. The only way to fail is if you give up.

10) Contact your up line and get their help and suggestions on how to grow your business. They will expect you to listen and then TAKE ACTION based exactly upon the advice they give.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

when u Love.someone

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved her for so very long,
You would think she could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That she would always stay this way.
She treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
She started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to her was dirt.

She started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.
One day She was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later she was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.
She thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things She said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry her some day,
But this time God wanted to get her way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.
It was a Wednesday morning about 3 o'clock,

You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Maa Baap Ka Saaya

Wah haanth jo ponchhte then aansun mere
Mit jaate then gham,jinke duwaon ke asar se
Dhundhte hain o kaandhe,roti thin aankh jin par
MAA-BAAP ka saaya jab uth jata hai sar se

Ungli pakad kar chalna,hajaar khwahishen karna
Gujarti thi unki zindagi,hamare hi dagar se
Yaad aati hai o baaten,dil rota hai AAH aksar
MAA-BAAP ka saaya jab uth jata hai sar se

Wah ruthna hamara,Wah aansunwen bahana
Puri hoti thi khwahishe,humare is asar se
Baagh aate hain yaad,chubhte hain kaante aksar
MAA-BAAP ka saaya jab uth jata hai sar se

Dil todna na unka na taklif kabhi dena
Nikaalna hai tumhen hi unhen ashkon ke sahar se
Yatimo ko deho unhen ja kar samjho,kya hota hai tab
MAA-BAAP ka saaya jab uth jata hai sar se

Wah dhundhli si aankhen Wag maasum sa chehra
Yatimo ko dekho ge jab tum unki najar se
Samajh jaoge AAH tum bhi, kya hota hai tab
MAA-BAAP ka saaya jab uth jata hai sar se

EHSAS-E-ILTEJA hai , ek baat meri maano
Apna aasiyana banana,unki muhabbaton ki asar se
Bahut taklif hoti hai ,hota hai KAASH hontho pe aksar
MAA-BAAP ka saaya jab uth jata hai sar se

LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Sixty Uses of Salt ?

Although you may not realize it, simple table salt has a great number of uses other than simply seasoning your food. The following list will give you sixty uses of salt, many of which you probably didn't realize:
1. Soak stained hankies in salt water before washing.
2. Sprinkle salt on your shelves to keep ants away.
3. Soak fish in salt water before descaling; the scales will come off easier.
4. Put a few grains of rice in your salt shaker for easier pouring.
5. Add salt to green salads to prevent wilting.
6. Test the freshness of eggs in a cup of salt water; fresh eggs sink; bad ones float.
7. Add a little salt to your boiling water when cooking eggs; a cracked egg will stay in its shell this way.
8. A tiny pinch of salt with egg whites makes them beat up fluffier.
9. Soak wrinkled apples in a mildly salted water solution to perk them up.
10. Rub salt on your pancake griddle and your flapjacks won't stick.
11. Soak toothbrushes in salt water before you first use them; they will last longer.
12. Use salt to clean your discolored coffee pot.
13. Mix salt with turpentine to whiten you bathtub and toilet bowl.
14. Soak your nuts in salt brine overnight and they will crack out of their shells whole. Just tap the end of the shell with a hammer to break it open easily.
15. Boil clothespins in salt water before using them and they will last longer.
16. Clean brass, copper and pewter with paste made of salt and vinegar, thickened with flour
17. Add a little salt to the water your cut flowers will stand in for a longer life.
18. Pour a mound of salt on an ink spot on your carpet; let the salt soak up the stain.
19. Clean your iron by rubbing some salt on the damp cloth on the ironing surface.
20. Adding a little salt to the water when cooking foods in a double boiler will make the food cook faster.
21. Use a mixture of salt and lemon juice to clean piano keys.
22. To fill plaster holes in your walls, use equal parts of alt and starch, with just enough water to make stiff putty.
23. Rinse a sore eye with a little salt water.
24. Mildly salted water makes an effective mouthwash. Use it hot for a sore throat gargle.
25. Dry salt sprinkled on your toothbrush makes a good tooth polisher.
26. Use salt for killing weeds in your lawn.
27. Eliminate excess suds with a sprinkle of salt.
28. A dash of salt in warm milk makes a more relaxing beverage.
29. Before using new glasses, soak them in warm salty water for awhile.
30. A dash of salt enhances the taste of tea.
31. Salt improves the taste of cooking apples.
32. Soak your clothes line in salt water to prevent your clothes from freezing to the line; likewise, use salt in our final rinse to prevent the clothes from freezing.
33. Rub any wicker furniture you may have with salt water to prevent yellowing.
34. Freshen sponges by soaking them in salt water.
35. Add raw potatoes to stews and soups that are too salty.
36. Soak enamel pans in salt water overnight and boil salt water in the next day to remove burned-on stains.
37. Clean your greens in salt water for easier removal of dirt.
38. Gelatin sets more quickly when a dash of salt is added.
39. Fruits put in mildly salted water after peeling will not discolor.
40. Fabric colors hold fast in salty water wash.
41. Milk stays fresh longer when a little salt is added.
42. Use equal parts of salt and soda for brushing your teeth.
43. Sprinkle salt in your oven before scrubbing clean.
44. Soaked discolored glass in a salt and vinegar solution to remove stains...
45. Clean greasy pans with a paper towel and salt.
46. Salty water boils faster when cooking eggs.
47. Add a pinch of salt to whipping cream to make it whip more quickly.
48. Sprinkle salt in milk-scorched pans to remove odor.
49. A dash of salt improves the taste of coffee.
50. Boil mismatched hose in salty water and they will come out matched.
51. Salt and soda will sweeten the odor of your refrigerator.
52. Cover wine-stained fabric with salt; rinse in cool water later.
53. Remove offensive odors from stove with salt and cinnamon.
54. A pinch of salt improves the flavor of cocoa.
55. To remove grease stains in clothing, mix one part salt to four parts alcohol.
56. Salt and lemon juice removes mildew.
57. Sprinkle salt between sidewalk bricks where you don't want grass growing.
58. Polish your old kerosene lamp with salt for a better look.
59. Remove odors from sink drainpipes with a strong, hot solution of salt water.
60. If a pie bubbles over in your oven, put a handful of salt on top of the spilled juice. The mess won't smell and will bake into a dry, light crust which will wipe off easily when the oven has cooled

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

School Vs Hindi Film

School ------- Yaadein
Pricipal ------ Jaani Dushman
Classes ------- Kabhi Kabhi
Canteen------- Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
Home Work -------- Godzilla
Exams -------- Kalyug
Examination Hall---- Chamber Of Secret
Exam-Time ---------- Qayamat Se Qayamt Tak
Question Paper --------- Paheli
Answer Paper ---------- Kora Kagaz
Cheating ---------- Aksar/Chupke Chupke
Paper Out ---------- Plan
Examiner ------------- The Killer
Last Exam ----------- Independence Day
aper Correction --------- Andha Kanoon
Marks ----------- Assambhav
Result ----------- Murder
Pass ------------ Ajjoba/ Chamatkar
Fail ----------- Devdas
Supplementary ------- Aakhri Raas
- Lovenismi (Ansh Rav)

Computer Vs. Hindi Films

Pentium III & Pentium I - Bade miyan and Chhote miyan.
Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.
Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.
F1 - Guide.
Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.
Ctrl+Alt+Del - AkhriRastaa.
CrtlC + CtrlV - Duplicate.
Undo - Aa ab lautchale.
Super User Password - Gupt.
BackUp - Jaagteraho.
UPS - Janta Hawaldar.
Server -Godfather.
Proxy Server - Padosan.
Security -Nakabandi.
Storage - Tehkhana.
Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Dadhi.
Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.
Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.
System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.
DumbTerminal - Anari.
Mouse - Jaanwar.
Hard Disk partition- Batwara.
Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.
Tempo rary file - Khote Sikkey.
Operator vs Computer - Meinkhiladi Tu Anadi

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Lifes like that..

TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES . . .

. . . you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav )

Chinese to Chinese

Chinese speaking to a Chinese operator...
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree..

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

New Theory about Women

1. To find a woman you need time and money therefore: women = time x money ............@

2. "Time is money " so time = money ...........................@

3. Therefore: women =money x money women = ( money )^2 ............@

4. "Money is the root of all problems "money = ( problems )^1/2 ......@

5. Therefore: women = (problems)^2/2

6. And the final conclusion is women = problems

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

One day Lil Johny says to his father

One day Lil Johny says to his father:

I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johny: Yes, Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now; you want to marry my Mother?
Johny: Why not? You married my mother

__________________________________

L.Johnny: Can I go to the toilet?
Teacher: Johhny, MAY I go to the toilet?
L.Johnny: But I asked first!

__________________________________

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."

__________________________________________________

"Johnny, did your Mother help you with your homework last night?" the teacher asked.
"No, she did it all," Little Johnny replied.

__________________________________________________

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny "At least you could try, right?"

________________________________________

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Little Johnny: One dollar.

Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Little Johnny (sadly): You don't know my father

__________________________

Teacher: "Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible."

Little Johnny: "OK sir, could you please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again."

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

What is 'Governance System

What is 'Governance System’?

As a daily habit Pintu was reading newspaper.

Suddenly he asked his father, “Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System?"

“It’s like...” father said while thinking, “See! I earn and bring money to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'.

You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?”

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matrices so he was crying. Pintu went to woke-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration.

Next morning father asked Pintu, “Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the
'Governance System'? ".

Pintu replied, “Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is suffering!"

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Real good explanations

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich."Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing..."

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich."Marry him." -That's Advertising..."

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me" - That's Telemarketing..."

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations..."

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition..."

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap..."

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."

See this is called girls attitude so please be care

fullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll guys!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)