ફાલતુ’ સવાલોના ‘ફાલતુ’ જવાબો

મંદિરના પગથીયા ઉતરતા હોઈએ ત્યારે કોઈક સામે મળે ને પૂછે: “કેમ? દર્શન કરી આવ્યા?”
“ના. મંદિરમાં અંદર લાઈન મારવા ગયો હતો!”
***
સવારે તૈયાર થઈ બ્રીફકેસ લઈ ઘરેથી બહાર નીકળીએ, પડોસી પૂછેઃ “શું નોકરી પર જાવ છો?”
“ના. બગીચામાં આંટો મારવા નીકળ્યો છુ!”
***
દીકરીના લગન પછી…“શું દીકરી ને વરાવી?”
“ના., આ તો હવાફેર કરવા એના સાસરે ગઈ છે!”
***
” શું દીકરાને પરણાવી આવ્યા?”
” ના., ના, આ તો બાજુના ગામમાંથી સાતફેરા ફેરવીને, મંગલસુત્ર પહેરાવીને, વીંટી પહેરાવીને અને છેડા બાંધીને ઓળખીતાની દીકરીને ઘરે લઈ આવ્યા!”
***
કાકાને વરંડામાં ચા પીતાં જોઈ ને…” શું કાકા ચા પીવો છો?”
” ના., રકાબી ચાટું છું!”

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

20 Golden Rules for any Office

Rule 1
The Boss is always right.

Rule 2
If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3
Those who work get more work.
Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

Rule 4
Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down".
The more intelligent a person,
the more hardworking a person,
the more committed a person;
the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

Rule 5
If you are good, you will get all the work.
If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Rule 6
When the Bosses talk about improving productivity,
they are never talking about themselves.

Rule 7
It doesn't matter what you do,
it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

Rule 8
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Rule 9
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Rule 10
The more crap you put up with,
the more crap you are going to get.

Rule 11
If at first you don't succeed, try again.
Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.

Rule 12
When you don't know what to do,
walk fast and look worried.

Rule 13
Following the rules will not get the job done.

Rule 14
If it weren't for the last minute,
nothing would get done.

Rule 15
Everything can be filed under
"Miscellaneous".

Rule 16
No matter how much you do,
you never do enough.

Rule 17
You can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

Rule 18
In order to get a promotion,
you need not necessarily know your job.

Rule 19
In order to get a promotion,
you only need to pretend that you know your job.

Rule 20
The last person that quit or was fired
will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

jokes more

Teacher :What happened in 1869?

Student:Gandhi ji was born.

Teacher :What happened in 1873?

Student:Gandhiji was four years old.!

------------------------------------------------------- 

Question:What is the fullform of MATHS. ?

Anwser: Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students

-------------------------------------------------------Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.

Student:A holiday

-------------------------------------------------------Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.

Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher :Why?

Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

------------------------------------------------------- 

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

------------------------------------------------------- 

Teacher: (1)There is a frog, (2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg.
Then, what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

------------------------------------------------------- 

Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
------------------------------------------------------- 
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.

- LoveNIsmi (Ansh Rav)

44 NETWORK MARKETING DOs and DON'Ts

1) Start with written goals and plans!

2) Don't wait for everything to be exactly right to start. IT NEVER WILL! Start now, with whatever you have. The things you need will come to you as you work towards your goal.

3) Realize that "rejection" is natural. For every 20 people you contact, expect 19 "no's" for every "yes." You may very well do better than that, but expect 19 rejections. This way, the rejections won't bother you because you expect them. Also, realize that they're not rejecting YOU - they're simply rejecting an idea. Just keep moving ahead. Be persistent, ignore the rejections, and you'll get more than enough "yes's" to build a highly successful business. Always remember: Some will. Some won't. So what? Someone's waiting. Next!

4) Treat your network marketing business as a serious, full-time business, and it will become one.

5) Follow-ups are just as important as the initial contact. If a person hasn't joined yet, following up with more exciting information can turn the tide. Many people report that they get their best people after following up 3-5 times.

6) Be patient. You'll work the hardest your first six months and get compensated the least. Big incomes never happen overnight in network marketing. They only come after you've properly shown your personally-sponsored d people how to duplicate your efforts. Network Marketing is a numbers game.

7) Don't give your Distributors unrealistic expectations.

8) Be willing to invest more money into your business than you get out of it in the beginning.

9) Don't quit. The only way to fail is if you give up.

10) Contact your up line and get their help and suggestions on how to grow your business. They will expect you to listen and then TAKE ACTION based exactly upon the advice they give.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

New Theory about Women

1. To find a woman you need time and money therefore: women = time x money ............@

2. "Time is money " so time = money ...........................@

3. Therefore: women =money x money women = ( money )^2 ............@

4. "Money is the root of all problems "money = ( problems )^1/2 ......@

5. Therefore: women = (problems)^2/2

6. And the final conclusion is women = problems

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

One day Lil Johny says to his father

One day Lil Johny says to his father:

I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johny: Yes, Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now; you want to marry my Mother?
Johny: Why not? You married my mother

__________________________________

L.Johnny: Can I go to the toilet?
Teacher: Johhny, MAY I go to the toilet?
L.Johnny: But I asked first!

__________________________________

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."

__________________________________________________

"Johnny, did your Mother help you with your homework last night?" the teacher asked.
"No, she did it all," Little Johnny replied.

__________________________________________________

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny "At least you could try, right?"

________________________________________

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Little Johnny: One dollar.

Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Little Johnny (sadly): You don't know my father

__________________________

Teacher: "Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible."

Little Johnny: "OK sir, could you please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again."

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

What is 'Governance System

What is 'Governance System’?

As a daily habit Pintu was reading newspaper.

Suddenly he asked his father, “Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System?"

“It’s like...” father said while thinking, “See! I earn and bring money to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'.

You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?”

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matrices so he was crying. Pintu went to woke-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration.

Next morning father asked Pintu, “Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the
'Governance System'? ".

Pintu replied, “Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is suffering!"

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Address kaha ka...

Ek faqir maangne ke liye masjid ke baahar baitha raha...

Sab namaazi aankh bacha kar chale Gaye...

Usey kuch Na mila...

Woh phir church Gaya, phir mandir aur phir gurudware...

Lekin usko kissi ne kuch Na diya...

Aakhir ek maikhane ke baahar aakar baith Gaya...

Jo sharabi nikalta uske katorey mein kuch daal deta...

Uska katora noton se bhar Gaya...

Faqir bola, "wah mere khuda...!!

Rahtey kahaan ho aur address kahaan ka dete ho.... "

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

amazing questions

1. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?

2. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken?
3. I went to bed at eight 8 'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine 9 'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?
4. Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?
5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?
6. If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?
7. A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear?
8. Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?
9. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?
10. If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, What's the name of the driver?
- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

Mera Bharat Mahaan???

Dear All,
Just think once & act.
Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
Office expenditure per month : 14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 ( eg.For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily DA TA during parliament meets : 500/day
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free (For any number of times) (All over India )
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
lectricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification] per year : 32,00,000[i.e . 2.66 lakh/month]
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years :8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores)
AND THE PRIME MINISTER IS ASKING THE HIGHLY QUALIFIED, OUT PERFORMING CEOs TO CUT DOWN THEIR SALARIES…..
This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities...
And this is the present condition of our country:
855 crores could make their life livable !!
Think of the great democracy we have..............
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL REAL CITIZENSOF INDIA ....
but,
STILL Proud to be INDIAN
I know hitting a delete button is easier.......bt........try 2 press fwd button 2 make people aware of it!
And after all this............. MERA DESH MAHAAN or should be say MERE NETA MAHAAN….
- LoveNIsmi ( Ansh Rav)

Horoscope Test

If you are honest this tells the truth:

Write your answers on a piece of paper. No cheating!!

The answers are at the bottom of this page.

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like Sydney or Brisbane more?

9. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down... (Don't cheat)

Answers

*

*

*

*

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black - you are conservative and aggressive.

Green - your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue - you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow- you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you’re initial is:

A-K You have a lot of love to give in friendships in your life.

L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last long and the memories will last forever.

July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you chose..... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

8. If you chose: Sydney: You like adventure. Brisbane: You are a laid back person.

9. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next birthday.

- Sunita
- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

LOVE LETTER WITH DEFFRECE

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks.

**********

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love (b) you couldn't control seeing me (c) really ... am I doing it?

**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling (b) you are testing whether I like jokes (c) you are attracted by my smile

**********

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me (b) my presence influenced you (c) you feared that whether I'll like your Song

**********

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed (b) you felt uneasy (c) you don't know

**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment (b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing (c) you don't know

**********

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me (b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus (c) that bus was

crowded

**********

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom (b) you just want to know what your parents think about me (c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish (b) you like roses (c) by chance you got a rose
**********

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me (b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday (c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
*********************

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........
Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No
**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you.

-ASHISH SHRIVASTAVA ( INDORE )

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

21 Simple Advices

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

-ASHISH SHRIVASTAVA (INDORE )
- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

kale hai to kya hua....

एक काला आदमी

बहुत ही काला

काला स्याह

सुपर काला

जैड ब्लैक

डबल अफ्रीकन एल्डर

सन ऑफ अमावस्य

औंधे तवे का ताऊ

पहाडी कौए का पडदादा
कोयल संप्रदाय का दादू

बंगाल का काला जादू

तारकोल जिसके पैरों में भक्ति भाव से पसरता हो,

कोयला जिसका रूप रंग पाने के लिये,

सदियों तक जमीन के नीचे बैठ कर तपस्या करता हो

जिसदिन उस कालानुभाव के दर्शन हुए,

जमीन थमी रह गयी अब इससे ज्यादा क्या कहुँ,

इतना कहने के बाद भी,

मेरे पास शब्दों की कमी रह गयी

शादी होते ही माँ-बाप को धक्के देकर बाहर निकाल देने वाली औलाद सा कपूत,

कुल मिला कर इतना काला जितनी किसी भ्रष्ट नेता की करतूत

एक दुकान पर गया

ना शर्म ना हया

बोला - फेयर एण्ड लवली है

दुकानदार ने कहा नहीं

तो कहने लगा -

फेयर-फेयर नैस जैसी कोई और क्रीम सही

दुकानदार बोला वो भी नहीं

तो बोला - कोई और

तो जब इस बार भी गर्दन दुकानदार ने इंकार में हिलाई

तो कहने लगा - Cherry Blossom ही दे दे

कम से कम चमक तो बनी रहेगी भाई..............

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

Why is it necessary for ordinary Muslims to speak up?

Eid Mubarak!

Why is it necessary for ordinary Muslims to speak up?

Every Muslim is as much a citizen of India as anyone else and definitely does not have to defend either the Muslim community in India or Islam.

Nevertheless, it is important to make people of other communities realize that Muslims too are angry a) about terrorists spoiling the image of Islam, and b) as well as maybe somehow conveying that there is some Muslim sympathy (not support) for their attacks.

So when an ordinary Muslim citizen does not speak up:

1. It increases the perception gap and emotional distance between them and other communities

2. It does not strengthen the Government's resolve to take suitable action against terrorist networks, both internally and internationally

3. It does not convey clearly and unequivocally to Muslims in other countries that Muslims in India are proud of being Indians, of living in India and of India itself, as one of the most secular countries in the world, not withstanding lots of problems, including inter-community problems.

There is clearly a lack of leadership today in India, and I feel that it is the ordinary Muslim who can spur the creation of a new leadership for the country by uniting the country even more strongly, by expressing this view and by showing that we are all one and the same Indian.

Furthermore, I would be interested in also hearing what the ordinary Pakistani has to say.

I am absolutely not interested in hearing the opinions of religious or political or high-profile social leaders, because their opinions are already available. I am also not interested in any quote from the Quran, because it is very clear in my mind that the Quran cannot advocate or support such activity.

For any issue where a group carries out a (negative) action, either by claiming they have done it on behalf of their religion, or it appears that they have done it on behalf of their religion (including Hindus, Christians, etc.), I think it is extremely important for ordinary citizens of that religion to speak out strongly about their own true opinions.

- Ram Niraula

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

Sachin Tendulkar History

• Recent Records..... ......... ..(and they continue)

1. Highest Run scorer in the Test Cricket
2. First Cricketer to pass 12000 run in the Test Cricket

• Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar

1. Highest Run scorer in the ODI
2. Most number of hundreds in the ODI 41
3. Most number of nineties in the ODI
4. Most number of man of the matches(56) in the ODI's
5. Most number of man of the series(14) in ODI's
6. Best average for man of the matches in ODI's
7. First Cricketer to pass 10000 run in the ODI
8. First Cricketer to pass 15000 run in the ODI
9. He is the highest run scorer in the world cup (1,796 at an average of59.87 as on 20 March 2007)
10. Most number of the man of the matches in the world cup
11. Most number of runs 1996 world cup 523 runs in the 1996 Cricket World Cup at an average of 87.16
12. Most number of runs in 2003 World Cup - 673 runs in 2003, highest by any player in a single Cricket World Cup
13. He was Player of the World Cup Tournament in the 2003 Cricket World Cup.
14. Most number of Fifties in ODI's 87
15. Appeared in Most Number of ODI's 407
16. He is the only player to be in top 10 ICC ranking for 10 years.
17. Most number of 100's in test's 38
18. He is one of the three batsmen to surpass 11,000 runs in Test cricket, and the first Indian to do so
19. He is thus far the only cricketer to receive the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, India's highest sporting honor
20. In 2003, Wisden rated Tendulkar as d No. 1 and Richards at No. 2 in all time Greatest ODI player
21. In 2002, Wisden rated him as the second greatest Test batsman after Sir Donald Bradman.
22. he was involved in unbroken 664-run partnership in a Harris Shield game in 1988 with friend and team mate Vinod Kambli,
23. Tendulkar is the only player to score a century in all three of his Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani Trophy debuts
24. In 1992, at the age of 19, Tendulkar became the first overseas born player to represent Yorkshire
25. Tendulkar has been granted the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri by Indian government. He is the only Indian cricketer to get all of them.
26. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 runs in a calendar year in ODI's 7 times
27. Tendulkar has scored 1894 runs in calendar year in ODI's most by any batsman
28. He is the highest earning cricketer in the world
29. He has the least percentage of the man of the matches awards won when team looses a match... Out of his 56 man of the match awards only 5 times India has lost.
30. Tendulkar most number man of match awards(10) against Australia
31. In August of 2003, Sachin Tendulkar was voted as the "Greatest Sportsman" of the country in the sport personalities category in the Best of India poll conducted by Zee News.
32. In November 2006, Time magazine named Tendulkar as one of the Asian Heroes.
33. In December 2006, he was named "Sports person of the Year
34. The current India Poised campaign run by The Times of India has nominated him as the Face of New India next to the likes of Amartya Sen and Mahatma Gandhi among others.
35. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 50 centuries in international cricket
36. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 75 centuries in international cricket:79 centuries
37. Has the most overall runs in cricket, (ODIs+Tests+ Twenty20s), as of 30 June 2007 he had accumulated almost 26,000 runs overall.
38. Is second on the most number of runs in test cricket just after Brian Lara
39. Sachin Tendulkar with Sourav Ganguly hold the world record for the maximum number of runs scored by the opening partnership. They have put together 6,271 runs in 128 matches
40. The 20 century partnerships for opening pair with Sourav Ganguly is a world record
41. Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid hold the world record for the highest partnership in ODI matches when they scored 331 runs against New Zealand in 1999
42. Sachin Tendulkar has been involved in six 200 run partnerships in ODI matches - a record that he shares with Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid
43. Most Centuries in a calendar year: 9 ODI centuries in 1998
44. Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs (41 Centuries and 87 Fifties)(as of 18th Nov, 2007)
45. the only player ever to cross the 13,000-14,000 and 15,000 run marks IN ODI.
46. Highest individual score among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999).
47. The score of 186* is listed the fifth highest score recorded in ODI matches
48. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 ODI runs against all major Cricketing nations.
49. Sachin was the fastest to reach 10,000 runs taking 259 innings and has the highest batting average among batsmen with over 10,000 ODI runs
50. Most number of Stadium Appearances: 90 different Grounds
51. Consecutive ODI Appearances: 185
52. On his debut, Sachin Tendulkar was the second youngest debutant in the world
53. When Tendulkar scored his maiden century in 1990, he was the second youngest to score a century
54. Tendulkar's record of five test centuries before he turned 20 is a current world record
55. Tendulkar holds the current record (217 against NZ in 1999/00 Season) for the highest score in Test cricket by an Indian when captaining the side
56. Tendulkar has scored centuries against all test playing nations.[7] He was the third batman to achieve the distinction after Steve Waugh and Gary Kirsten
57. Tendulkar has 4 seasons in test cricket with 1000 or more runs - 2002 (1392 runs), 1999 (1088 runs), 2001 (1003 runs) and 1997 (1000 runs).[6] Gavaskar is the only other Indian with four seasons of 1000+ runs
58. He is second most number of seasons with over 1000 runs in world.
59. On 3 January 2007 Sachin Tendulkar (5751) edged past Brian Lara's (5736) world record of runs scored in Tests away from home
60. Tendulkar and Brian Lara are the fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test cricket history. Both of them achieved this in 195 innings
61. Second Indian after Sunil Gavaskar to make over 10,000 runs in Test matches
62. Became the first Indian to surpass the 11,000 Test run mark and the third International player behind Allan Border and Brian Lara.
63. Tendulkar is fourth on the list of players with most Test caps. Steve Waugh (168 Tests), Allan Border (158 Tests), Shane Warne (145 Tests) have appeared in more games than Tendulkar
64. Tendulkar has played the most number of Test Matches(144) for India (Kapil Dev is second with 131 Test appearances).
65. First to 25,000 international runs
66. Tendulkar's 25,016 runs in international cricket include 14,537 runs in ODI's, 10,469 Tests runs and 10 runs in the lone Twenty20 that India has played.
67. On December 10, 2005, Tendulkar made his 35th century in Tests at Delhi against Sri Lanka. He surpassed Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 centuries to become the man with the most number of hundreds in Test cricket.
68. Tendulkar is the only player who has 150 wkts and more than 15000 runs in ODI
69. Tendulkar is the only player who has 40 wkts and more than 11000 runs in Tests
70. Only batsman to have 100 hundreds in the first class cricket No wonder he makes us proud, not just the Indians, but all cricket lovers worldwide!

- Romeo Bagga

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

enjoy the latest edition......

HILLARIOUSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You will die laughing…..
Enjoy!!!
1)Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ....
Waah! Waah!
Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter .... Waah! Waah!
Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !!
2)Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ....
Waah! Waah! Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ....
Waah! Waah!
Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii ... !!
3) Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana .... Waah! Waah! Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ....
Waah! Waah!
Didi Tera Devar Deewana...!!
4) Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon .... Waah! Waah!
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon .... Waah! Waah!
Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!
5) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ....
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ....
"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..
6) Ek Ladka Tha ... Usey Kabhi Pyaar Nahi Hua Tha .... Uski Pant Ki Zip Hamesha Khuli Rehti Thi ....
Puchho Kyun ???
Pyaar Bina CHAIN Kahan Re ... !!!
7) Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai .... Dil Mein "Naa" Hain .... Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai .... Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ....
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ...."
8) 2 Cockroach Gaana Gaa Rahe Thhe : "Aashiq Banaaya Aapne" ... Dono Marr Gaye ...
Because Gaana "HIT" Tha ....
9) Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
Jaise Chhote Se Darwaaze Mein Bhais Phass Gayii Hai .. !!
10) Premika: "Aisa Khatt Likho Sajna, Ki Meri Umar Beet
Jaaye Padhne Mein ... " Premi: "$@# % #$ @ $ %#$ &&* !@#@ &&*( )(&% %#$% %#$%#$ !#@!# ?<>":::<< $%^$% %#%" @#@#!! ?>#$%^> $#$%&<<
#%$%""}}+ !@??>": @@#$$$?:@!! Le Padh !!!"
-

INTRODUCE YOURSELF!!!!!!! A REQUEST

Hey guysn Galz we all have probably done this in school………
Let's do it again ……..
I am talking about the SLAM BOOK where we give answers and confessions to some questions……..so let's get started……..and please give true confessions and don't make a JOKE out of this…….THIS WILL SERVE AS A GREAT COLLECTION OF INFORMATION ABOUT ALL THE MEMBERS .
QUESTIONS:-
1) FIRST NAME (this will not reveal your Identity.....there may be thousands by your first name) :
2) DATE OF BIRTH:
3) SUN SIGN:
4) DESCRIBE YOURSELF:
5) NATIVE COUNTRY AND STATE:
6) CURRENT LOCATION/OCCUPATION:
7) ANY TRUE LIFE ADVENTURE THAT YOU HAD:
8) WHAT IS YOUR AIM IN LIFE:
9) MOTTO IN LIFE:
10) ANY UNFORGETABLE DREAM:
11) MOST HAPPY MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE:
12) MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE:
13) FIRST LOVE (IF ANY):
14) THOUGHTS ABOUT OPPOSITE SEX / ANY CLOSE ENCOUNTERS WITH THEM:
15) DREAM GIRL / BOY:
16) DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE / DESTINY:
17) IF YOU HAD ONE CHANCE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AGAIN WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO:
18) DESCRIBE YOUR DAILY ROUTINE IN SHORT:
19) HARDWORK OR LUCK WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE:
20) IF YOU ARE GRANTED THREE WISHES WHAT WOULD YOU WISH:
I AM THANKFUL TO NIRAULA FROM NEPAL AND SANJAY FROM MP THAT THEY RESPONDED THE MAIL, GUYS THIS THE PLACE WHERE U MAKE LOTS OF FRIEND AND WE CAN CELEBRATE IMPORTANT OCCASIONS LIKE FRIENDSHIP DAYS..

IF U DONT LIKE ANSWERING U SIMPLY PUT NA( NOT APPLICABLE) BUT PLEASE YAAR FILL THIS SLAM BOOK SO THAT EVERY ONE KNOW EACH OTHER..

I PERSONALLY TELL I ONLY KNOW NALE LIKE SWEETU PAUL, NIRAULA, SANJAY, POOJA , TAHIR ETC, THIS IS BECAUSE THEY R ACTIVE MEMBER.........

SO IF U R NOT MAILING ATLEAST FILL THIS SLAM BOOK SO OTHER PPL KNOW AND ITS HELP U TO RECEIVED BIRTHDAY WISHES AND GIFT HAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING

SO GUYS R U READY

SID HEART(& UR HEART WILL GO ON)
I am WalkinG AwaY Troubles

In my Life

I am WalkinG Away

Find a Better Day..!!!

MEN AFTER MARRIAGE

Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.

If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.

Girlfriend’s r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lover’s r likes PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husband’s r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Here comes the Ultimate One

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

40 Tips for a Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Go to bed earlier and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following: 'Today, my primary purpose is to __________.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured or packaged in factories.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new energy flow into your life.
14. Don't waste your energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You won't win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, wills this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Remember, God heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
31. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Do the right thing!
37. Call your family often. Or email them to death!
38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of every moment, every single day.
40. Please share this with those you care about.
May your troubles be less?
May your blessings be more?
May nothing but happiness come through your door!
- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)