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Sunday, May 24, 2009

No matter

No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,

I just want to tell YOU….

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Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",

Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"

WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!

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Aap itrate bahut ho
Dil ko behlate bahut ho

Sochte hai aap ko DINNER par le jaaye
Par kya kare ZALIM tum khate bahut ho.

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Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,

Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
Aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

LIFE WITHOUT GIRLS

LIFE WITHOUT GIRLS:

The result

Markets silent

Streets empty

The police at rest

All mobile companies in loss

No SMS

No Flowers

No Valentine

No Candles

No Perfumes

All the men directed to Heaven.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

May I know the time please?

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible.

Old Man: made it Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles. ;)

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter  again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.

- Lovenismi (Ansh Rav)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Applications Invited 4 GF

Due to recession, I sacked my Girlfriend (part of my cost cutting efforts) I need new one, so pass on this information to your female friends...please this is urgent (only females)

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:

Designation: Junior girl friend (trainee)

Experience: Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)

Other requirement: Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required...

Age: 18-23 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them) Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:

  • Total gross ( Monthly ) :
  • 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
  • bike rides each duration 1 hour
  • trips to National Highways
  • 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Iskcon Temple
  • Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
  • Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
  • 2 movies per month (on weekends)
  • Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining the probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Please NOTE:

  1. Only females.
  2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
  3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:

For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected. Search never ends!!

Interested candidates can send their resume with Subject:

Name / fresher – exp / age.

Photo must be in attachment to the email address via mail

Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.

- Lovenismi (Ansh Rav)