One day Lil Johny says to his father

One day Lil Johny says to his father:

I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johny: Yes, Grandma
Father: What? There is a problem now; you want to marry my Mother?
Johny: Why not? You married my mother

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L.Johnny: Can I go to the toilet?
Teacher: Johhny, MAY I go to the toilet?
L.Johnny: But I asked first!

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Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."

__________________________________________________

"Johnny, did your Mother help you with your homework last night?" the teacher asked.
"No, she did it all," Little Johnny replied.

__________________________________________________

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny "At least you could try, right?"

________________________________________

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Little Johnny: One dollar.

Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Little Johnny (sadly): You don't know my father

__________________________

Teacher: "Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible."

Little Johnny: "OK sir, could you please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again."

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

What is 'Governance System

What is 'Governance System’?

As a daily habit Pintu was reading newspaper.

Suddenly he asked his father, “Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System?"

“It’s like...” father said while thinking, “See! I earn and bring money to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'.

You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?”

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matrices so he was crying. Pintu went to woke-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Pintu went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration.

Next morning father asked Pintu, “Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the
'Governance System'? ".

Pintu replied, “Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is suffering!"

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Real good explanations

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich."Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing..."

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich."Marry him." -That's Advertising..."

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me" - That's Telemarketing..."

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations..."

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition..."

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap..."

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."

See this is called girls attitude so please be care

fullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll guys!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Daily Quran For my muslim friends

Daily Quran & Hadith
Al Qur'an
To Allah belongeth
all that is in the heavens and on earth.
Whether ye show what is in your minds
or conceal it,
Allah Calleth you to account for it.
He forgiveth whom He pleaseth,
and punisheth whom He pleaseth,
for Allah hath power over all things.
{Surah Al Baqara ~ Ayah 284}
Hadith
Narrated Ghailan(R): Anas (Allah be pleased with him) said:
You people do (bad) deeds (commit Sins)
which seem in your eyes as tiny (minute) than hair
while we used to consider those (very deeds)
during the life-time of the Prophet as destructive Sins.
-LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav )

Address kaha ka...

Ek faqir maangne ke liye masjid ke baahar baitha raha...

Sab namaazi aankh bacha kar chale Gaye...

Usey kuch Na mila...

Woh phir church Gaya, phir mandir aur phir gurudware...

Lekin usko kissi ne kuch Na diya...

Aakhir ek maikhane ke baahar aakar baith Gaya...

Jo sharabi nikalta uske katorey mein kuch daal deta...

Uska katora noton se bhar Gaya...

Faqir bola, "wah mere khuda...!!

Rahtey kahaan ho aur address kahaan ka dete ho.... "

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

ŕσ¢к ση!!

dil kya kehta hai mera
kya main bataoon
tum ye samjhoge shaayad
main pagal hoon

dil karta hai tv tower pe
main chad jaoon
chilla chilla ke main ye
sabse kehdoon

rock on!!
hai ye waqt ka ishaara
rock on!!
har lamha pukaara
rock on!!
yuheen dekhta hai kya tu
rock on!! zindagi millegi na dubaara…

dil karta hai sadkon par
zor se gaoon
sab apne apne ghar ki khidki kholen
phir main aise josheelay geet sunaoon
mere geeton ko sunke sab ye bolen

rock on!!
hai ye waqt ka ishaara
rock on!!
har lamha pukaara
rock on!!
yuheen dekhta hai kya tu
rock on!!
zindagi millegi na dubaara…

jaise jeene ko dil chahe
jee waise tu
meri toh hai bas ye raaye ki
apne jitne bhi armaan
hain poore karle tu

rock on!!
hai ye waqt ka ishaara
rock on!!
har lamha pukaara
rock on!!
yuheen dekhta hai kya tu
rock on!!
zindagi millegi na dubaara…

rock on!!
hai ye waqt ka ishaara
rock on!!
har lamha pukaara
rock on!!
yuheen dekhta hai kya tu
rock on!!
zindagi millegi na dubaara…

SO ŕσ¢к ση!! GUYS
LIFE IS TOO SHORT LIVE EVERY INSTANT OF IT

amazing questions

1. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?

2. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken?
3. I went to bed at eight 8 'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine 9 'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?
4. Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?
5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?
6. If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?
7. A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear?
8. Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?
9. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?
10. If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, What's the name of the driver?
- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

Come live with me

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroider'd all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me, and be my love.

The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.
Christopher Marlowe
-LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav )

Be Your Own Boss, Take Action

Be Your Own Boss, Take Action
There is a big difference between wanting to become your own boss, and actually becoming your own boss. Find out what you need to know and overcome to make your dreams a reality

Being a Entrepreneur
To be a successful entrepreneur you will need a good idea, money, a little luck, and hard work (lots of it). 90 % of the most successful people fail the most, meaning you must first lose something (your initial investment) before you gain anything (profits, equity, etc.).

Women Entrepreneurs
Somehow even before I start this topic what goes in my mind is that who all would be interested in reading about woman entrepreneurs. Intuition and experience says it'll be 80% women, reason being men do not find any interest in the growth aspects of women. This is to the extent of not even getting interested in reading about topics related to progress of women. This might sound chauvinistic, but no amount of advancement is able to change the basic psychology of males.

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav)

Sirf Mera Ho

Koi to ho aisa jo sirf mera ho
Baton me unki khushbu ho
Dil me unka basera ho
Chahy to chahat meri
Mangy to mohabbat meri
Wo chand ki chandni ho to
Chand sirf mera ho
Wo falak ki roshni ho to
Suraj sirf mera ho
Wo pholon ki khushbo ho to
Ehsas sirf mera ho
Wo falak ka ujala ho to
Charagh sirf mera ho
Wo ishq or mohabbat ho to
Dil sirf mera ho
Wo pani ka cheenta ho to
Darya sirf mera ho
Wo kismat ki lakeer ho to
Hath Sirf mera Ho.
- POOJA PATIL
- LovNismi (Ansh Rav)

KISSI SE RAABTA TOOTA HOOA HEI

Kissi Se Raabta Toota Hooa Hei
Sitam Ka Silsila Toota Hooa Hei

Hamare Sheher Mein Jo Sach Dikhaey
Wo Har Ek Aaina Toota Hooa Hei

Shikista Nao Ka To Gham Nahin Hei
Magar Ye Na Khuda Toota Hooa Hei

Jo Khud Toote Wohi Ye Jaanta Hei
Ke Kis Ka Aur Kya Toota Hooa Hei

Dushman Ka Sipahi Bhi Hei Lashkar
Tera Gar Hosla Toota Hooa Hei

Sawal Ab Kache Pake Ka Nahin Hei
Yahan Par To Gharha Toota Hooa Hei

Buton Ko Torh Do Aur Dat Ke Bolo
Tumhara To Khuda Toota Hooa Hei

Diya Roshan Kiya Hei Jab Se Bhatti
Yahan Zor E Hawa Toota Hooa Hei

- LoveNismi ( Ansh Rav )