Problem of Married Software Programmer in India

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?

Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree?

Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning

Husband - erroneous syntax, aborts, retry, and cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan! Forget it where’s your salary.

Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.

Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.

Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.

Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?

Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?

Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?

Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?

Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad’s house.

Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.

Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.

Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going

Husband - It’s now safe to turn off your computer

By:- Ansh Rav

Love Nismi

Celebrating India! Happy Independence Day!!!

Dear All,
Our country mother India celebrating her 61-freedom day. We should feel proud of ourselves having born in this great country, which unites people with diverse habits and culture.

However, our country is torn with castism, terror attack and mother India is reeling. She needs strong support of peace loving people and good leaders.
- Pray for peace.
- Be kind to human being.
- Fight against insurgency.
- Give freedom to your tense and cramped life occasionally.
- Use your wisdom to select good leaders to lead our country.
- Give freedom to your child to play and freedom of expression.
- Give your friends, peers and colleagues to express their opinion.
- Give freedom to your parents shower love on you even if you are grown up (not to put them in old age homes).
--Love NIsmi

India: National Song!

Mera BHARAT Mahan!!! Jay Hind...

...............Independence Day Song...................
*Vande Maataram*
Vande Maataram, vande maataram
Sujala sufala malayaja-shitalaam
Shashya-shyaamala maataram
Vande maataram Shubhra-jyotsna- pulakita yaamini
Phulakusumati- drumadala shobhini
Suhaasini sumadhur bhaashini
Sukhada varada maataram
Vande maataram Koti Koti Kantha Kalakalaninada Karaale
Koti Koti Bhujai.rdhritakhara karavale
Abalaa Keno Maa Eto Bale
Bahubaladharinim Namami Tarinim
Ripudalavarinim Maataram
**********************************************
>Tumi* Vidyaa Tumi Dharma **
Tumi Hridi Tumi Marma
Tvam Hi Pranah Sharire Baahute Tumi Maa Shakti
Hridaye Tumi Maa Bhakti
Tomaara I Pratima Gadi
Mandire Mandire Tvam Hi Durga Dashapraharanadhari ni
Kamala Kamaladala Vihaarini
Vani Vidyadayini Namami Tvam
Namami Kamalam Amalam Atulam
Sujalam Suphalam Maataram Shyaamalam Saralam Susmitam Bhushhitam
Dharanim Bharanim Maataram
* ** ***************** ** ***************
Hindustan Hamara* *
Saare jahaan se achha *
Hindustan hamaara Hum bulbule(n) hai*(n) uski *
Woh gulsitaan hamaara.
Parbat woh sabse uncha
Hamsaya a'smanka
Woh santari hamaara
Woh pasban hamaara. Godime(n) khelti hai(n)
Jiski hazaaro(n) nadiya
Gulshan hai jinki damse
Raksh-I-jinan hamaara... Mazhab nahin sikhaata
Aapas main bair rakhna
Hindi hain hum watan hai
Hindustan hamaara
*************** **********************************
*Honge Kamiyaab *
Hum honge kamiyaab (3),
ek din... Ho…man mein hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hum honge kamiyaab ek din.
Hum chalenge saath-saath Daal haatho(n) mein hath Hum chalenge saath-saath,
ek din Man mein hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hum chalenge saath-saath ek din.
Hogi shaanti chaaro aur (3),
ek din Man hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hogi shaanti chaaro aur ek din.
Nahi dar kisi kaa aaj Nahi bhay kisi ka aaj Nahi dar kisi ka aaj ek din Man mein hai vishwaas, poora hai vishwaas Nahi dar kisi ka aaj ek din.
Hum honge kamiyaab (3),
ek din Ho…man mein hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hum honge kamiyaab ek din.
*************** *****************************
*Rashtriya Jhanda Abhinandan
*Vijayi vishwa tiranga pyaara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humara Sadaa shakti sarsaane waala,
Prem sudha barsaane waala,
Veero ko harshaane waala,
Maatru bhoomi ka tan-man saara,
Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humara.
Swatantra ke bheeshan run mein,
Lakhkar josh badhein kshan-kshan mein,
Kaape shatru dekh kar man mein,
Mit jaye bhay sankat saara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara.
Is zande ke neeche nirbhay,
Rahei(n) swaadheen hum avichal nishchay.
Bolo Bhaarat maata ki jay.
Swatantrata ho dhyey humara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara.
Aao, pyaare veero! Aao; Desh- dharm par bali-bali jao**
* Ek saath sab mil kar gaao,
"Pyaara Bhaarat desh humaara, Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara.
Iski shaan na jaane paaye,
Chaahei(n) jaan bhale hi jaye,
Vishwa vijay karke dikhlaaye,
Tab hove praan poorna humaara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara,
Vijayi vishwa tiranga pyaara."
*************** *****************************
-- ASHISH SHRIVASTAVA INDORE
-- Love Nismi

must reade

Please read this article by giving 10 minutes from your busy life. Really
good.... ** *

* The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad ..*

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our
achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success
stories but we refuse acknowledge them--- Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a
self-sustaining, self-driving unit.
There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in
the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the
day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The
Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a
Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid
and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The
gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the
newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.

Why are we so NEGATIVE?

Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things?
We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that
self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this
lecture,when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what
her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For
her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim.
India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.

Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is
yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?

Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him
aface - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International
best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in
the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay
$5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim
Causeway or Pedder Road ) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the
parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a
restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In
Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU?

YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai ..
YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah .
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at
10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are
billed to someone else.'
YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then
tell the traffic cop,'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I
am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.'
YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage
pail on the beaches in Australia and New
Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use
examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still
talking of the same YOU.
YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but
cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the
moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative
citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr.
Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the
streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And
then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for
inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the
officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure
in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has
done the job. Same in Japan .. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's
right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all
responsibility.

We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do
everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the
government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all
over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper
and throw it in the bin.
We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to
learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and
toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to
the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related
towomen, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room
protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse?
'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone
forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our
neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the
government. But definitely not me and YOU.
When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we
lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the
distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work
miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country
and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to
bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure
we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next
flight out
to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and
brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape
the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is
mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a greatdeal
of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F.
Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or
junk mails.

Thank you,

Dr. Abdul Kalaam

.......I humbly request you to forward this to every Indian......

GOOD MORNING

GOOD MORNING

A Lovely Good Morning To You !!!!!*

We might not meet, we might not chat,

but we would still be friends,

you better don't forget that..

Times would go passing by,

changes would come with you and I,

our lives destiny would shape,

as with time progress we make.

Distance would take us away miles & miles,

we might not even see each others smiles.

We might not help each other; but still let not,

our friendship wither..

The magic of friendship would call me

and I would miss you then

thinking..

together we would be when ....
* *

Take Care...Have A Nice Day!!!