How a withdraws cash from ATM

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM

1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away

How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM

1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake

-Nishal
-LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

જ્યારે કોઇ છોકરો કોઇ છોકરી ને પ્રપોઝ કરે ત્યારે સામે છોકરી ના શું જવાબો હોઇ શકે.. ?એમાના કેટલાક જવાબો અહિ છે.

1) ના [ Jaane aa ek j word aavadto hoy..]

2) મે ક્યારેય નહ્તુ વિચાર્યું કે તમે મારા વિશે આવું વિચરો છો. [ leh..aa vichare pan che...???]

3) હું તો તમને કાયમ એક સારા મિત્ર તરીકેજ જોતી હતી અને તમે ? [badha natak che]

4) સોરી હું તો પહેલાથી જ એંગેજ છું. [haa 10 ma std. ma hati tyar thi]

5) હું આવી બધી વાતોમાં નથી માનતી. તારૂ ભણવામાં ધ્યાન લગાવ.[pote chori karine pass thati hase]

6) હજું હું તમને બરાબર જાણતી નથી. [photo aapo janva maate]

7) પણ તમે તો મને બેન કહીને બોલાવતા હતા ને ? [bas ene e j yaad che]

8) હું આ સંબન્ધ માટે હજુ પુરી રીતે તૈયાર નથી. [haju 30-40 varas lagse]

9) હું મારી બહેંપણી ને પુછી ને જવાબ આપીશ.. (એમા બહેનપણી ને પુછવાની શું જરૂર છે એ ખબર નથી પડતી )

10 ) આટલી વાત કહેવામાં આટલો બધો ટાઇમ લાગ્યો.

11) તારૂ મોઢું જોયું છે અરીસામાં કોઇ દીવસ ? ( જાણે પોતે રોજ અરીસાની સામેજ બેસી રહેતી હોય )

12)કશું પણ બોલ્યા વગર હસ્યા કરશે ( જાણે એની સામે કોઇ જોકર ઉભો હોય )


- Nishal
- LoveNismi

Problem of Married Software Programmer in India

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?

Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree?

Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning

Husband - erroneous syntax, aborts, retry, and cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan! Forget it where’s your salary.

Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.

Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.

Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.

Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?

Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?

Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?

Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?

Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad’s house.

Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.

Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.

Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going

Husband - It’s now safe to turn off your computer

By:- Ansh Rav

Love Nismi

Celebrating India! Happy Independence Day!!!

Dear All,
Our country mother India celebrating her 61-freedom day. We should feel proud of ourselves having born in this great country, which unites people with diverse habits and culture.

However, our country is torn with castism, terror attack and mother India is reeling. She needs strong support of peace loving people and good leaders.
- Pray for peace.
- Be kind to human being.
- Fight against insurgency.
- Give freedom to your tense and cramped life occasionally.
- Use your wisdom to select good leaders to lead our country.
- Give freedom to your child to play and freedom of expression.
- Give your friends, peers and colleagues to express their opinion.
- Give freedom to your parents shower love on you even if you are grown up (not to put them in old age homes).
--Love NIsmi

India: National Song!

Mera BHARAT Mahan!!! Jay Hind...

...............Independence Day Song...................
*Vande Maataram*
Vande Maataram, vande maataram
Sujala sufala malayaja-shitalaam
Shashya-shyaamala maataram
Vande maataram Shubhra-jyotsna- pulakita yaamini
Phulakusumati- drumadala shobhini
Suhaasini sumadhur bhaashini
Sukhada varada maataram
Vande maataram Koti Koti Kantha Kalakalaninada Karaale
Koti Koti Bhujai.rdhritakhara karavale
Abalaa Keno Maa Eto Bale
Bahubaladharinim Namami Tarinim
Ripudalavarinim Maataram
**********************************************
>Tumi* Vidyaa Tumi Dharma **
Tumi Hridi Tumi Marma
Tvam Hi Pranah Sharire Baahute Tumi Maa Shakti
Hridaye Tumi Maa Bhakti
Tomaara I Pratima Gadi
Mandire Mandire Tvam Hi Durga Dashapraharanadhari ni
Kamala Kamaladala Vihaarini
Vani Vidyadayini Namami Tvam
Namami Kamalam Amalam Atulam
Sujalam Suphalam Maataram Shyaamalam Saralam Susmitam Bhushhitam
Dharanim Bharanim Maataram
* ** ***************** ** ***************
Hindustan Hamara* *
Saare jahaan se achha *
Hindustan hamaara Hum bulbule(n) hai*(n) uski *
Woh gulsitaan hamaara.
Parbat woh sabse uncha
Hamsaya a'smanka
Woh santari hamaara
Woh pasban hamaara. Godime(n) khelti hai(n)
Jiski hazaaro(n) nadiya
Gulshan hai jinki damse
Raksh-I-jinan hamaara... Mazhab nahin sikhaata
Aapas main bair rakhna
Hindi hain hum watan hai
Hindustan hamaara
*************** **********************************
*Honge Kamiyaab *
Hum honge kamiyaab (3),
ek din... Ho…man mein hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hum honge kamiyaab ek din.
Hum chalenge saath-saath Daal haatho(n) mein hath Hum chalenge saath-saath,
ek din Man mein hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hum chalenge saath-saath ek din.
Hogi shaanti chaaro aur (3),
ek din Man hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hogi shaanti chaaro aur ek din.
Nahi dar kisi kaa aaj Nahi bhay kisi ka aaj Nahi dar kisi ka aaj ek din Man mein hai vishwaas, poora hai vishwaas Nahi dar kisi ka aaj ek din.
Hum honge kamiyaab (3),
ek din Ho…man mein hai vishwaas,
poora hai vishwaas Hum honge kamiyaab ek din.
*************** *****************************
*Rashtriya Jhanda Abhinandan
*Vijayi vishwa tiranga pyaara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humara Sadaa shakti sarsaane waala,
Prem sudha barsaane waala,
Veero ko harshaane waala,
Maatru bhoomi ka tan-man saara,
Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humara.
Swatantra ke bheeshan run mein,
Lakhkar josh badhein kshan-kshan mein,
Kaape shatru dekh kar man mein,
Mit jaye bhay sankat saara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara.
Is zande ke neeche nirbhay,
Rahei(n) swaadheen hum avichal nishchay.
Bolo Bhaarat maata ki jay.
Swatantrata ho dhyey humara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara.
Aao, pyaare veero! Aao; Desh- dharm par bali-bali jao**
* Ek saath sab mil kar gaao,
"Pyaara Bhaarat desh humaara, Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara.
Iski shaan na jaane paaye,
Chaahei(n) jaan bhale hi jaye,
Vishwa vijay karke dikhlaaye,
Tab hove praan poorna humaara Jhanda uncha rahei(n) humaara,
Vijayi vishwa tiranga pyaara."
*************** *****************************
-- ASHISH SHRIVASTAVA INDORE
-- Love Nismi