Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back!

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Marriage Jokes repeat

CASE 1

Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

CASE 2

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

CASE 3

Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

CASE 4

Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

CASE 5

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm

still paying for it."

CASE 6

Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad : "That happens in most countries son."

CASE 7

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

CASE 8

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes

CASE 9

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair ?

CASE 10

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

CASE 11

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

CASE 12

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

CASE 13

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new.

CASE 14

A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."

And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A Billionaire."

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

Jokes

An old rich man marries a young gal.

Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?

Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

****************************************

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu?

****************************************

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

****************************************

Boy : Janeman! Tute huye dil se pyaar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi.

Girl : Harmkhor! Tuti huyi chappal se pitega ya chappal tutne tak pitega.

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)

प्यार का PC

अभी अभी तो प्यार का PC किया है चालु

अपने दिल के Hard Disk पे और कितनी Files डालु

   

अपने चेहरे से रूसवाई की Error तो हटाओ

ऐ जानेमन अपने दिल का Password तो बताओ

   

वो तो हम है जो आप की चाहत दिल मॆं रखते है

वरना आप जैसे कितने Softwares तो बाज़ार में बिकते है

   

रोज़ रात आप मेरे सपने में आते हो

मेरे प्यार को Mouse बना के उंगलियों पे नचाते हो

   

तेरे प्यार का Email मेरे दिल को लुभाता है

पर बीच में तेरे बाप का Virus आ जाता है

   

और करवाओगे हमसे कितना इन्तजार

हमारे दिल की साईट पे कभी Enter तो मारो यार

   

अपने इन्सल्ट का बदला देखो कैसे लुंगा

जानेमन तेरे बाप को Ctrl+Alt+Delete कर दुंगा

   

आपके कई नखरे अपने दिल पे बैंग हो गये

दो PC जुड़ते जुड़ते Hang हो गये

   

आप जैसो के लिये दिल को Cut किया करते है

वरना बाकी केसेस में तो Copy Paste किया करते हैं

   

आपक हँसना आप क चलना आप की वो स्टाईल

आपकी अदाओं की हमने Save कर ली है File

   

जो सदीयों से होता आया है वो रीपीट कर दुंगा

तु ना मिली तो तुझे Ctrl+Alt+Delete कर दुंगा

   

लड़कीयां सुन्दर हैं और लोनली हैं

प्रोब्लम है कि बस वो Read Only हैं

   

- Kadia (Orkut)

- Loveable Poet

Jokes to Make You Laugh

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
Kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
Cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
And comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
Ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What
Do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
No one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
Yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun Or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need It but the sun gives us light only in the day time When we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on Talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
History was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
Is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
That I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
Past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
Donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
Prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
Cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
Doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show That nine out of ten people die of the disease you Have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others All died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married On the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
Down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is
hand.

 

- LoveNismi (Ansh Rav)