Good jokes-sardar again

Why does a sardar study in front of mirror?
Ans.
1) It saves revision time.
2) He likes combined studies.
3) Lastly he wants sum1 2 keep an eye on him.....

Sardar saw a board at the center of a pond
He tried to read but couldn’t

At last he swims to the center of the pond just to read
“Crocodile present, don’t swim”

2 Sardars bank lootne gaye,
Par gun bhool gaye…
Phir bhi bank loot liya
Kaise???
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Bank Manager bhi sardar tha. Bola
“I trust you, gun kal dikha dena”
One day sardar found cigarette in daughter’s room
“Oh God, she smokes?”
Then found whisky,
“Oh God, she drinks?”
Then finally saw a nude boy,
“Thank god, toh yeh sab is munde ka hai”
Santa ke pita USA se aaye.
Pita: teri maa kahan hai?
Santa: Woh toh marr gayee!
Pita: Saale tune mujhe bataya q nahin?
Santa : Maine socha aapko surprise dunga
Santa ko koi mobile pe tang karta tha
Santa ne new sim car kharid kar usse sms kiya
“Mene woh sim band kar diya hai, ab tu toh kya tera baap bhi mujhe tang
nahin kar sakta“
Santa : I kiss my wife before i go to office
Friend: I also kiss your wife after you go to your office
Santa: Haha.., but I am first!
Sardar: Raat bhar train mein neend hi nahin aayee, upar ka seat mila tha…
Dost: Toh exchange kyun nahin kiya
Sardar: Arrey bewakoof, kisse karta... neeche ke seat pe koi bhi nahin tha.
Santa: Is mirror ki kya guarentee hai:
Shopkeeper: Aap isse 100 floor se niche girao, ye mirror 99 floor tak nahin
tutega
Sardar: Wah!! Pack it..
Sardarni: Lo light chale gayee
Sardar: Light chali gayee toh kya, fan chalu kar
Sardarni: Lo ki na vahi sardaron waal baat,
Agar fan chalu kiya toh mombatti bhuj nahin jayega
Sardar ko ladki hui
Sardarni: Sunoji, jab yeh badi hogi toh ladke usse patayengey
Sardar: oye, koi gal nahin kushwinder, maine is problem ka solution dhoond
liya hai
Sardarni: Kya?
Sardar: Hum iska naam “Didi” rakhengey
Sardar's dad died and he was crying
after a couple of minutes sardar cries Louder.
Friend :- What happened now?
Sardar :- My sister just call me. Her dad also died......
Postman :- Oye Pappe ! pata hai muje yeh packet deliver karne k liye 5 mile
chalna pada.
Sardarji :- Kyu? Aap Courier kar dete. ........
Ek sardar puri zindgi sochta raha, sochta raha
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sochta raha
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sochta raha
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...aur sochte sochte mar gaya ke agar meri sister ke 2 bhai hai to mere
kyu nhi...
Nasa ne 3 sardaro ko chand pe bheja, rocket uda magar adhe raste se vapas
aaya.
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Unko pucha gaya to bole... : Aaj amaswas hai chand to nhi hoga.......
If sardar want to dial 9449494494..
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how will he dial........?
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..He will first dial ..... 94494
and then "REDIAL".....................
Waiter gives bill to Sardar ji.
Sardar: Take this card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card
Sardar:So what? You hv writen ALL CARD ACCEPTED.......
Once a Sardar was roaming in d jungle
suddenly he saw a snake hanging on d tree
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sardar goes little closer 2 dat tree nearly d snak
And he said: " ese latak ne se height nhi badhti, mummy ko bolo COMPLAIN
pee laye.. "..
Sardar n Wife waiting 4 train
Itane me PUNJAB MAIL aayi,
Sardar bhag k train me chad gaya aur
wife se bola Jab PUNJAB FEMALE aaye to chad ja....
Sardar: Yeh kela(banana) kaisa diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
sardar: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Sardar:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de........
One day a Santaji talking with his friend....
Santa ji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or
we will not be able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Santaji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6
months. ..
Santa: Parso meri biwi kuwe me gir gayi,
bahut chot lagi, bahut chilla rahi thi.
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Banta: Ab kaisi hai wo..?
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Santa: Ab theek hi hogi,
kal se kuwe se awaz nhi aa rahi hai..
once saradji..was drinking water......
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arrey ab kya ek sardar chain se paani bhi naih pi sakta..ismein bhi joke
chahiye tumhe...
jaan lelo bechare sardaron ki...
hahaha….

Thoughts For The Day

No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter, without sorrow, sun, without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the prson to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take there place.

Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

BHEEGI RATON MEIN !

Koi Waqat Purana Yaad Aya
Phir Daor Suhana Yaad Aaya,

Aor Chupky Se In dewaron Pe
Kuch Likh Kar JanaYaad Aaya,

Tera Milna Paidh Ki Chaon Mein
Aor Sir Rakh Dena Kandhy Per,

Mera Ye Kehna Koi Dekh Na Le
Tera Wo Ghabrana Yaad Aaya,

Aisa Bhi To Aksar Hota Tha
Mein Tujh Ko Chorny Jata Tha,

Barish Ki Bheegi Raton Mein
Tera Hath Hilana Yaad Aaya,

Wo Waqat Geya Beety Lamhy
Ab Har Janib Tanhaie Hai,

Bas Ek Hai Manzar Ankhon Mein
Tera Chorr K Jana Yaad Aaya !

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

One Line Proposals, Even Shorter Rejections

1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!

2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?

3. Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALL day long.

Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!

4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.

Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?

Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!

6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.

Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?

7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would be enough)

8. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.

Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!

9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple mathematics otherwise!

 

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

Teacher and Student

Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?
Student: shaadi..!!!!!!

Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?.....
Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
Student: dulhan

Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
Student- bahu laaunga

Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?
Student: pota

Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do :)

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment