Funny

4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola.
1 bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyun..?
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petrol pump was on 1st floor..
*Chal ek aur*
Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola.
1 bhi customer nahi..
Kyu..?
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petrol pump ka board nahi hataya..
*Chal ek aur*
Fir charo ne 1 taxi li.
1 bhi sawari nahi.
Kyu..?
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2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..
*Chal ek aur*
Taxi
kharab ho gayi.
Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya.
but taxi wahi ki wahi.
Kyu..?
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2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..
*Chal ek aur*
Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko
kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa.
warna tujhe maar denge.
Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.
Kyu..?
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bachhe ka baap bhi sardar tha..

Good jokes-sardar again

Why does a sardar study in front of mirror?
Ans.
1) It saves revision time.
2) He likes combined studies.
3) Lastly he wants sum1 2 keep an eye on him.....

Sardar saw a board at the center of a pond
He tried to read but couldn’t

At last he swims to the center of the pond just to read
“Crocodile present, don’t swim”

2 Sardars bank lootne gaye,
Par gun bhool gaye…
Phir bhi bank loot liya
Kaise???
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Bank Manager bhi sardar tha. Bola
“I trust you, gun kal dikha dena”
One day sardar found cigarette in daughter’s room
“Oh God, she smokes?”
Then found whisky,
“Oh God, she drinks?”
Then finally saw a nude boy,
“Thank god, toh yeh sab is munde ka hai”
Santa ke pita USA se aaye.
Pita: teri maa kahan hai?
Santa: Woh toh marr gayee!
Pita: Saale tune mujhe bataya q nahin?
Santa : Maine socha aapko surprise dunga
Santa ko koi mobile pe tang karta tha
Santa ne new sim car kharid kar usse sms kiya
“Mene woh sim band kar diya hai, ab tu toh kya tera baap bhi mujhe tang
nahin kar sakta“
Santa : I kiss my wife before i go to office
Friend: I also kiss your wife after you go to your office
Santa: Haha.., but I am first!
Sardar: Raat bhar train mein neend hi nahin aayee, upar ka seat mila tha…
Dost: Toh exchange kyun nahin kiya
Sardar: Arrey bewakoof, kisse karta... neeche ke seat pe koi bhi nahin tha.
Santa: Is mirror ki kya guarentee hai:
Shopkeeper: Aap isse 100 floor se niche girao, ye mirror 99 floor tak nahin
tutega
Sardar: Wah!! Pack it..
Sardarni: Lo light chale gayee
Sardar: Light chali gayee toh kya, fan chalu kar
Sardarni: Lo ki na vahi sardaron waal baat,
Agar fan chalu kiya toh mombatti bhuj nahin jayega
Sardar ko ladki hui
Sardarni: Sunoji, jab yeh badi hogi toh ladke usse patayengey
Sardar: oye, koi gal nahin kushwinder, maine is problem ka solution dhoond
liya hai
Sardarni: Kya?
Sardar: Hum iska naam “Didi” rakhengey
Sardar's dad died and he was crying
after a couple of minutes sardar cries Louder.
Friend :- What happened now?
Sardar :- My sister just call me. Her dad also died......
Postman :- Oye Pappe ! pata hai muje yeh packet deliver karne k liye 5 mile
chalna pada.
Sardarji :- Kyu? Aap Courier kar dete. ........
Ek sardar puri zindgi sochta raha, sochta raha
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sochta raha
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sochta raha
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...aur sochte sochte mar gaya ke agar meri sister ke 2 bhai hai to mere
kyu nhi...
Nasa ne 3 sardaro ko chand pe bheja, rocket uda magar adhe raste se vapas
aaya.
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Unko pucha gaya to bole... : Aaj amaswas hai chand to nhi hoga.......
If sardar want to dial 9449494494..
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how will he dial........?
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..He will first dial ..... 94494
and then "REDIAL".....................
Waiter gives bill to Sardar ji.
Sardar: Take this card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card
Sardar:So what? You hv writen ALL CARD ACCEPTED.......
Once a Sardar was roaming in d jungle
suddenly he saw a snake hanging on d tree
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sardar goes little closer 2 dat tree nearly d snak
And he said: " ese latak ne se height nhi badhti, mummy ko bolo COMPLAIN
pee laye.. "..
Sardar n Wife waiting 4 train
Itane me PUNJAB MAIL aayi,
Sardar bhag k train me chad gaya aur
wife se bola Jab PUNJAB FEMALE aaye to chad ja....
Sardar: Yeh kela(banana) kaisa diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
sardar: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Sardar:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de........
One day a Santaji talking with his friend....
Santa ji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or
we will not be able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Santaji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6
months. ..
Santa: Parso meri biwi kuwe me gir gayi,
bahut chot lagi, bahut chilla rahi thi.
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Banta: Ab kaisi hai wo..?
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Santa: Ab theek hi hogi,
kal se kuwe se awaz nhi aa rahi hai..
once saradji..was drinking water......
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arrey ab kya ek sardar chain se paani bhi naih pi sakta..ismein bhi joke
chahiye tumhe...
jaan lelo bechare sardaron ki...
hahaha….

Thoughts For The Day

No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter, without sorrow, sun, without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the prson to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take there place.

Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

BHEEGI RATON MEIN !

Koi Waqat Purana Yaad Aya
Phir Daor Suhana Yaad Aaya,

Aor Chupky Se In dewaron Pe
Kuch Likh Kar JanaYaad Aaya,

Tera Milna Paidh Ki Chaon Mein
Aor Sir Rakh Dena Kandhy Per,

Mera Ye Kehna Koi Dekh Na Le
Tera Wo Ghabrana Yaad Aaya,

Aisa Bhi To Aksar Hota Tha
Mein Tujh Ko Chorny Jata Tha,

Barish Ki Bheegi Raton Mein
Tera Hath Hilana Yaad Aaya,

Wo Waqat Geya Beety Lamhy
Ab Har Janib Tanhaie Hai,

Bas Ek Hai Manzar Ankhon Mein
Tera Chorr K Jana Yaad Aaya !

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

One Line Proposals, Even Shorter Rejections

1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!

2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?

3. Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALL day long.

Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!

4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.

Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?

Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!

6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.

Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?

7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would be enough)

8. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.

Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!

9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple mathematics otherwise!

 

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

Teacher and Student

Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?
Student: shaadi..!!!!!!

Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?.....
Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
Student: dulhan

Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
Student- bahu laaunga

Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?
Student: pota

Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do :)

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

Jaan Bhi Tere Paas Hai !!

Sari Duniya Ki Muskan Tere Pass Hai
Ye Jamin Or Asman Tere Pass Hai
Gum Na Karna Ki Tuje Yaad Nahi Karte
Ae Dost Meri To Jaan Bhi Tere Paas Hai !!

Dard Dene Wale Bahut Milte Hai
Mgar Dard Lene Wale Bahut Kam Milte Hai
Najuk Waqt Me Hame Yaad Karna Kyoki
Jingdi Me Sachhe Dost Bahut Kam Milte Hai !!

Firaq-E-Yaar Me Jo Ja Milenge
To Mere Jaise Hosle Kam Milenge
Jahan Saari Duniya Nigahe Fer Legi
Wahan E Dost Tumhe Sirf Hum Milenge !!

Sache Dost Ki Ek Nishani -"Wo Aapki”
Aankhon Me Us Waqt Dard Dekh Leta Hai,
Jab Duniya Aapse Keh Rahi Hoti Hai
Yaar Tum Muskurate Bahut Ho !!

Chor Ki Chori Me Shor Nahi Hota,
Nayi Patang Me Dor Nahi Hota,
Har Gali Me Mod Nahi Hota,
Aur Humse Dosti Karne Wala Kabhi "Bor" Nahi Hota !!

Aapki Yaad Karte Hai Itni Asman Me
Rosani Hai Jitni Yakeen Nahi To Call Karke Dekhiye
Hum Karenge Baat Aapse Utni Aapke Mobile Me Laxmi Hai Jitni !!

Dosti Me Baat Karo Jaise "Ful Talktime"Yad Karo
Jaise "Free Roaming"Pyaar Karo Jaise "Life Time"
Jhagada Karo Jaise "No Coverage"Or Smile Jaise "Toll Free !!

Har Majboori Se Ladna Sikh Lo
Har Gum Ke Saath Jeena Sikh Lo
Busy Hum Bhi Kam Nahi
Par Hamari Tarah Dosto Ko Yaad Karna Sikh Lo !!

1 Hassi Jo Hasa De 1 Ansoo Jo Rula De
1 Aarzoo Jo Jaga De 1 Chahat Jo Samza De
Har Aahat Jo Jaan Le Us Rishte Ka Naam Hai Dosti!!

Kya Karege Ishq Kar Ke Dosto
Jab Cahane Wale Ne Hi Dil Tod Diya
Hum Par Shak Na Karo Dosto
Kyu Ki Humne To Ab Ishq Karna Hi Chhod Diya !!

Kaise Ho Tum Jo Chodkr Ja Rahe Ho
Aapne Sab Kasme Wade Todkar Ja Rahe Ho
Teri Dosti Pe Bhi Yakin Tha Humko
Phir Kis Liye Tum Muh Modkar Ja Rahe Ho !!

Dosti Kisi Ki Riyasat Nahi Hoti
Maut Kisiki Amanat Nahi Hoti
Sambhal Ke Rakna Qadam Yaaha
Don Ki Dosti Todne Wale Ki Zamanat Nahi Hoti !!

Kabhi To Teri Palko Pe Jhilmil Aau Mai
Tu Intzaar Kare Aur Na Aau Mai
Dost Samundar Me Pahuch Ke Fareb
Mat Karna Kaho To Kinare Pe Hi Doob Jau Mai !!

Dosti Yakeen Pe Tiki Hoti Hai,
Ye Deevar Badi Mushkil Se Khadi Hoti Hai,
Kabi Fursat Mile To Padhna Kitab Rishto Ki,
Dosti Khoon Ke Rishton Se Bhi Badi Hoti Hai !!

Samundar Me Na Koi Jab Kinara Milega
Na Apno Ka Jab Tumhe Sahara Milega
Dubte Waqt Zara Tum Yeh Dekh Lena
Ki Us Waqt Bhi Tumhe Hath Hamara Milega !!

 

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

list of our progressive states & cities

I have a list of our progressive states and cities

The most corrupt state: New Delhi (Corruption is taught @ the Age of 10 here) Hence children's cheat their own parents most here in the North..

The most Violent State: Jammu & Kashmir

The Most Lazy state: Himachal

The Most Educated state: Kerala

The most Devoted State: Chennai

Neighbors pride owners envy state: Andhra

Determined state: Bangalore

Colourful state: Goa

The most Vibrant: Gujrat

Raw materials State: Bihar

Confused State: Haryana

Green State : Punjab.

No Mans Land: Nagaland

State run by the Bureucrats only : U.P

Silent State: Orissa

Dead State: West Bengal :-) [?]

Wet State: Arunachal

Anonymus state: Manipur

Foreign state: Pondicherry, tripura, Meghalaya (none of he youngsters are aware of these states as part of india (sic)

Warriors state: Maharashtra

Disciplined state: Madhya Pradesh

Simple state: Rajasthan

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

WAQT NAHIN......

Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahin.

Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahin.

Maan Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas Toh Hai,
Par Maan Ko Maan Kehne Ka Waqt Nahin.

Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhen Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahin.

Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahin.

Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahin.

Aankhon Mein Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka hi Waqt Nahin.

Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahin.

Paison ki Daud Mein Aise Daud padey hain,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahin.

Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apne Sapnon Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahin.

Tu Hi Bata Aey Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahin...

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

Facts about Water

70% of our body is filled with water. In diseased states where body water is affected, the compartment or compartments that have changed can give clues to the nature of the problem. Body water is regulated by hormones such as anti-diuretic hormone (ADH), aldosterone and atrial natriuretic peptide. Try to get the best drinking water possible. Check out some facts about the water you're drinking.

1. Air is not completely clean, the food we eat may have insignificant amounts of toxic, the products that we use on our skin and hair are also toxic. Water removes the dangerous toxins that are added into our body.

2. Water cushions our body joints.

3. Water acts as a transport for oxygen and nutrition throughout the cells in the body.

4. Water helps regulate body temperature.
5. Water helps prevent blood pressure from dropping to critical levels.

6. Water helps to defend against blood clots.

7. Water encourages bowel movement.

8. Water helps the normal kidney function from getting impaired.

9. Water keeps us from getting excessively dry skin.

10. Water lowers incidence of urinary tract infections.

11. Water also helps us from experiencing reoccurring headaches.

12. Water also helps alleviate fevers.

13. Hydrotherapy is the therapeutic use of hot / cold water externally to problems.

14. Hot water stimulates the immune system.

15. Hot water is also used to increase the body's flow. Imagine coming home from a hard day's work and soaking yourself in a bathtub for an hour. When you get up, your body will feel more relaxed and stressed than before. Professional athletes will usually take a steam bath or relax in a whirlpool after a rigorous training session.

16. Cold water reduces inflammation. Ice pack reduces swelling.

17. A cold water sitz bath is used to treat constipation, irregular vaginal discharge, hemorrhoids.

18. Spa treatments using alternating hot and cold water improve upper respiratory problems, congestion, foot infections, and headaches.

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment

Yaad Rehengi....

Yeh pyaari nigahein yaad rahengi,
Mil kar na milne ki ada yaad rahegi,
Mumkin nahi ki main tumhe bhula doon,
Aur umar bhar tumhein bhi meri yaad na aaya !!

Sayari banti hai zindagi ke lamhon se,
Lamhe bante hai khubsurat palon se,
Inpalon ko kabhi khone matdena,
Hume apne se dur kabhi hone mat dena !!

Mulakat bbi kabhi aasu de jati he,
Najre bbi kabhi dhoka de jati he,
Gujre huye lamho ko yaad karke dekhiye,
tanhayi bhi kabhi sukun de jati hai !!

Itni dosti na karo ki bigad jaye hum
thoda danta karo ki sudhar jaye hum
ho jaye koi khata to ho jana khafa par
itna bhi nahi ki mar jaye hum !!

pyaar kia to uski mohabat nazar aayi,
dard hua hume to palke uski bhar aayi,
Do dilo ki dhadkan me ek bat nazar aayi,
dil to vinod ka dhadka par
awaz shilpa ke dil se aayi !!

Na pine ka shok tha na pilane ka shok tha,
vinod ko to sirf najre milane ka shok tha,
par kya kare ham nazre hi usse mila baithe,
jise nazro se pilane ka shok tha !!

Ae khuda tumne hume Kitaab banaya hota,
Vo jab jab hote tanha,
Hame haatho mein uthaya hota,
Wo padte-padte so jate,
Aur hume seene se lagaya hota !!

Sari umar aankho mein ek sapna yaad raha,
Sadiyaan beet gayi wo lamha yaad raha,
Jaane kya baat hai aap mein,
Sari mehfil bhul gaye bas wo pal yaad reh gaya !!

Reh na paoge kabhi bhulakar dekho,
yakin na aata ho to aazmakar dekho,
har jagah mehsoos hogi hamari kami,
apni suni mehfilon ko kitna bhi saja kar dekho !!

Rishta hamara is jahan mein sabse pyara ho,
jaise zindagi ko sanso ka sahara ho,
Yaad karna hamein us pal mein,
jab tum akele ho or koi na tumhara ho !!

Har raat ek dhun gungunati hai
Har ful se mahak jarur aati hai
Apke man mein khayal tak na ho
Par hame har waqkt aap ki yaad aati hai !!

Ek hi din me begaane ho Gaye.
kal tak haqeekat the,
ab afsaane ho Gaye.
shayad tujhpe mar mittne ka hi junoon hai,
ke tere is sitam ke bhi hum deewane ho Gaye !!

Pyar se pyari koi majburi nahi hoti,
Kami apno ki kabhi puri nahi hoti,
Dilon ka juda hona ek alag baat hai,
nazron se dur hona koi duri nahi hoti !!

kABHI Gamo se TumHari mulaqAT nA ho
Udaas bethe ho aise koi baat na ho
shiqayat ho to maaf kerdena
fursat main bethe ho humien yaad ker lena !!

Tinko se bana pal, pal se bana lamha
aur lamho ne waqt ko buna,
hr pal koi kisi ke sath nahi reh sakta
isliye shayad khuda ne yado ko chuna !!

Kati kahin pe raat to kati sahar kahin
Rahe wafa mein chain na paya magar
kahin Wo sun rahe hai yu mera afsana e hayat
Dil hai kahin khyal kahin aur nazar kahin

Dil mein panap rahi hai bas yehi arzoo
Ya rab mile humko koi humsafar kahin !

- Love Nismi                                 Give Comment